Empty Pitchers




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'09 Summer Empty Pitchers
1st Place Regular Season
2nd Place Tournament
"Golly, that's great!"


#1 Empty Pitchers     21
#8 Big Ballas               1

#4 Tappa Kegga Brew   11
#5 Warriors                       7


#1 Empty Pitchers        12
#4 Tappa Kegga Brew 11


Championship Game
#6 1st Round Draft 19
#1 Empty Pitchers 18



#7 Finish Strong     13
#6 1st Round Draft 12

#2 Band-Aids         8
#7 Finish Strong   10

#3 Butter Up              7
#6 1st Round Draft   9


Additions: Amber, Connie and Ron
Departures: Melissa
How could we forget?:Amy and Justin

Schedule
Apr 26
W 16-4
The Band-Aids
May 3
W 11-7
@ Finish Strong
May 17
W 23-3
Big Ballas
May 31
W 28-20
@ 1st Round Draft
Jun 7
W 16-0
High Rollers
Jun 14
W 27-14
@ Butter Up
Jun 21
L 12-14
Warriors
Playoffs Start
Jun 28
W 21-1
Big Ballas
Jul 12
W 21-11
Tappa Kegga Brew
Jul 12
L 19-18
1st Round Draft
Regular Season Standings
 (Avg Runs For/Against)

6-1  (  19 / 9   )    
Empty Pitchers
6-1  (  18 / 8 )    
6-1  (  ? / ? )    
Tappa Kegga Brew
5-2  (  17 / 13 )    
Butter Up
4-3  (  14 / 13 )    
Warriors
3-4  (  14 / 17 )  
1st Round Draft
2-5  (    9 / 12 )    
Finish Strong
1-6  (    9 / 16 )    
Big Ballas
1-6  (    5 / 16 )  
High Rollers

Season Awards
MVP: Andrew Gattuso
Most Improved Player (must have one full season):
Tie - Courtney Heckel and Jami Kupperman
Asst GM Award:
Most Sensitive Player: Keith
Co-Rookies of the season: Amber, Connie and Ron
Most Not Named Raoul: Amber

Checklist - complete at least three
  • Avg 15+ runs scored/game
  • Avg less than 10 runs allowed/game
  • Beat Band-Aids - win trophy
  • Beat Plan B
  • Break bread / drink pitchers
  • Solve question of Raoul
  • Two hrs of team charity work
  • First place regular seaon
  • Win tournament
  • Undefeated season

  • New Season: Seven
    Step away from the beer pitcher. If a fish head orders a Seven and Seven, what is it ordering? Do you know the garnish? Is the garnish on a rolly pole?

    One of the great plagarisms in cinema history was made by Seven:

    Tears, please don't start

    The team says goodbye to Melissa, who will continue to sub when the horn is sounded three distinct times, the last an upnote with three chirps.

    Melissa played just two full seasons with us and each night she brought a vacuumous aura to our 2B area. We'll miss the way she approached home plate with the respect of a samurai.

    Behold those bringing tissue to dry our eyes

    The team welcomes Amber, Connie and Fitch. Excuse me, it should read Ron. Crazier things have happened when alphabetizing names but you'll find no examples here. Summer is for travel and nobody enjoys the pressure of finding subs. So the team expands.

    Softball Science Beatdown
    A great equation from high school to remember is: PV=nRT. Pressure x Volume = mass x R (a constant of the gods, give it whatever value you like) x Temperature. Do we have any science teachers on the team?

    Courtney says: "Our collection of players follows laws of nature that when heat and/or pressure is added to the team, the team expands. Pressure to the team, a player, the brain or heart is bad. That is why we eat when under pressure: to expand reducing our pressure. Some silly people enter saunas thinking they'll get smaller!

    For extra credit from the teacher, do you know why water expands and causes cans to explode in the freezer? Why isn't "n" an "m" since n stands for moles of gas (similar to mass)?"

    Positions
    Amy will continue as our onsite sub and scorekeeper. For now she feels best calling pitches behind the plate and Sarah will miss several games with her travel.

    Amber, Connie and Ron join Jamie in utility spots. Nothing is known about Amber except she proudly says "I think you guys will appreciate my "softball" attitude for sure." Amber coaches softball and "likes working on turning double plays from second", just like Connie. If we have a safe lead, that'll be Andrew pitching an inning with Ron at SS while Jason whispers sweetness in the dugout into Amy's ear.

    Looking at who carries a can of whoop ass for us

    Aside from The Band-Aids, we won't know anybody. Two of the teams, Butter Up (5-2) and #4 Warriors (3-4), played last season with the Band-Aids on this same field last season. Last season The Band-Aids lost 16-15 to Butter Up and 22-14 to Warriors.

    In the playoffs, #2 Butter Up won 17-16 and then lost 14-5 in the second round. Warriors lost 8-7 in the first round, as did the #8 Band-Aids 16-9 to the eventual champion.

    1st Round Draft, Big Ballas, Finish Strong and High Rollers didn't play in Tempe last season. Will be nice adding to our library of teams and patheon of great opponents.

    Game to circle: Sun May 31st vs 1st Round Draft. It'll likely be 100 F at 6pm when we play. This team could be our loong lost little brother team, unless they beat us. Let's break bread and tap seals with a new team for no other reason than they have a worthy name.

    Ignore whoop ass, become the softball

    Mr. Wonka had too many wonkacandies and veered from the basics. Use the regular season to develop new skills in time to play sturdy defense and offense come playoffs. That's the only formula to remember for softball, besides E=mc^2:

                    Empty = me chugging with the power of two.

    The Oompa Loompa will be mad if Seagrams Seven isn't mixed with 7-Up. If it's missing a lemon wedge, it'll hurl the drink back at you gouging your eye into which it'll plant a chocolate lollipop. Don't stick the lemon on a little umbrella or sword.

    In Mr. Wonka's freezer as water gets colder, water in a glass initially gets smaller. But when it turns to ice, it forms a rigid lattice structure that forces water molecules to be farther apart. That why it expands. And "n" stands for "number of moles."


    Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    0-0  (  0 / 0 )  1st Round Draft
    0-0  (  0 / 0 )  Band-Aids
    0-0  (  0 / 0 )  Big Ballas
    0-0  (  0 / 0 )  Butter Up
    0-0  (  0 / 0 )  Empty Pitchers
    0-0  (  0 / 0 )  Finish Strong
    0-0  (  0 / 0 )  High Rollers
    0-0  (  0 / 0 )   Warriors

    This Week's Games

    Butter Up @ Warriors
    The Butter Up Warriors were the tagteam champs of mudwrestling's version of G.L.O.W.

    1st Round Draft @ High Rollers
    Boozers vs stoners. Babe Ruth vs Doc Ellis, who pitched a perfect game on a hallucinogen. The list is long of those who didn't pitch well on hallucinogens.

    Big Ballas @ Finish Strong
    I know you have better jokes than I do on this game. Yet my mind is pure, and I think of Michael Jordan as the biggest of the ballas and he said once in a commercial "it's not how you start but how you finish. "

    A Tibetian Mountain Monk speaks:
    "MJ is not afraid to stumble as he learns along his journey.. very wise unless quickly moving down mountains. "

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "I like Butter Up, High Rollers, Finish Strong and The Pitchers!"


    Elsewhere this season
    Dawson NE
    GT Bombers and AZ Devils butt heads

    Dawson NW
    Plan B, RamRods, Donkey Fire, Black Sox and T.G.F.T.W. will match up against Like We Care, the #5 seed who won their tournament and Balls & Dolls, the 1# seed on the SW field who lost in the championship.

    Dawson SW
    Saki Bombers on their own with all new teams.

    On Deck: The Band-Aids

    0-0    7 pm - Home

    History:
    Season 3 - L 19-5
    Season 4 - L 13-5
    Season 5 - L 17-11

    AWOL: None ( ),

    The season starts with the Pitchers facing perhaps their biggest rival, The Band-Aids. We even play for a trophy.

    The last time we saw The Band-Aids, it was Scott, Jamie and Courtney meeting them at Peter Piper Pizza back on Oct. 27th.

    Scott retells:
    "I know for sure there was no inter-team air hockey played... and I'm fairly sure the same goes for basketball. Not sure why that was... perhaps we wanted to keep our rivalry on the field? :) "

    T-Rex (Amanda) is gone and The Band-Aids spent last season breaking in a new pitcher, Natalie. Most of their key players remain with the team but the talent they faced must have been tougher.

    After last season's 1-6 record, you can be sure they'll be exacting revenge on all in their path and we're first on the slate, tethered to the rock, unable to move from this scheduling spot. Or is this a trap?

    Each season we play for a trophy
    Except last season. There was no trophy. Nor in seasons one thru four. The game's victor will be take custody of the Band-Aid Pitcher Trophy. It isn't the Stanley Cup, but that's because it's a trophy - totally different but you can drink from both.

    Scott memories from a front porch rocker: "Fond memories, eh? Other than all the homeruns from their certain favorite player? Haha, not really anything specific to share, other than them being fun to play and good peeps."

    Pre Gameplan: Dos Gringos at 7pm on Priest just south of Elliott. Lauren of the Band-Aids will be there with the pitcher trophy for us to drink out of. She may be alone... she may have her teammates there.

    We'll square up on Ptack's pop-up collections. These people need to bring these amounts: Ted $6, Ruthie $3, Jason $2, Courtney $2, Andrew $1 and Keith $1. Don't get too drunk before the game.

    Gameplan: Arrive somewhat sober at the southeast field by 8:35 to warm up arms and bats. Big Ballas and Finish Strong will be playing and they are our next two opponents for anyone who wants to scout a bit. During the game have fun. Don't get too caught up listening to the music between batters. Don't get a song stuck in your head as the ball comes sailing at you.


    Recap: Pregame Trophy Fun
    Apr 26th,'09 - 5 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 16, Band-Aids 4

    BA:    0   0   0   1   3   = 4
    EP:    6   0   1   9    x   = 16

    With a 9pm start time and a serious lack of socializing last season, the team proceeded to Dos Gringos to meet up with several Band-Aids players two hours before first pitch.

    Sadly, Dos doesn't sell beer by the pitcher but the teams came prepared with the Band-Aids Pitcher trophy, into which we poured our bottles of $2 Miller Lite (happy hour ends at 7pm).

    Arriving at the field, Amber made her first official appearance with the team with Connie and Ron getting called up full time this season.

    The Band-Aids looked poised to make one of their famous hot starts. The Band-Aids got several runners on base but Jason was able to retire infamous Pitcher-destroyer, Noel, on a hard liner to Andrew, who was backed into shallow LC to end the inning.

    The top six of the EP order all scored to grab an early lead but over the next couple innings only the Pitchers were able to add a run. Solid defense kept the Band-Aids scoreless until the 4th when Noel unloaded a shot hitting the fence.

    In the bottom of the 4th, the bottom of the order got the ball rolling as Keith, Ruthie, Jason and Amy loaded the bases for Ted. After a towering OF pop-up in his previous at-bat, Ted lined a shot to the gap and could have had the grand salami had he not been held at 3rd, drawing boos from the dugout.

    Andrew added a homerun and Ron had the best headfirst in team history as the Pitchers batted thru their entire lineup. With the big lead, Jason grabbed some pine as the team's reliever, Andrew, made his pitching debut and issued no walks. The Band-Aids had some well-placed hits to score a few more runs but the trophy ultimately began its new residence.

    Notes: During the current six-game win streak stretching back to last season, Jami is batting 19 for 21; one walk from Jason; Andrew struck out the first batter he faced and pitched his way out of a couple 3-1 counts; Anna did a great job with the pictures; 4 fans in the stands, including a fan of Amber's.


    About the stats below: Have fun at the plate. Do not focus on your numbers. If an individual can contribute in two of three areas: defense, dugout attitude or offense, the team should have a good chance to win while we have fun. Everybody slumps, everyone gets hot. Don't get excited by the numbers.

    Box Scores
    Ted
    2-3, 2R, 3RBIs, 1pu
    Connie
    1-3, 1R
    Andrew
    3-3, 3R, 2RBIs, HR
    Courtney
    2-3, 1R, 2RBIs
    Jamie
    2-3, 2R, 2RBIs,
    Jami
    3-3, 2R, 2RBIs
    Ron
    3-3, 1R, 2RBIs
    Amber
    2-3, 0R, 1RBI
    Keith
    2-3, 1R
    Ruthie
    2-3, 1R, 1RBI
    Jason
    1-2, 1R
    Amy
    1-2, 1R

    Key: Walks are counted as hits, fielders choices are outs,
    pu = stinky pop up



    Sunday Scores     

    Butter Up 26, Warriors 8
    High Rollers 12, 1st Round 11
    Big Ballas 10, Finish Strong 9
    EP 16, Band-Aids 4

    Elsewhere
    Donkey Fire 10, Black Sox 7
    Plan B 10, FR RamRod 9
    Saki Bombers 18, Swinging 10


    Standings     

     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    1-0  (  26 / 8 )    Butter Up
    1-0  (  16 / 4 )    Empty Pitchers
    1-0  (  12 / 11 )  High Rollers
    1-0  (  10 / 9 )    Big Ballas
    0-1  (  11 / 12 )  1st Round Draft
    0-1  (  9 / 10 )    Finish Strong
    0-1  (  4 / 16 )    Band-Aids
    0-1  (  8 / 26 )    Warriors


    Upcoming 

    1st Round Draft @ Big Ballas
    Big ballas are often seen toting tall 40's and other large quantities of alcohol. 1st Round Draft doesn't let you bring your own alcohol.

    High Rollers @ Warriors
    According to the urban dictionary "attud", a high roller is a sexual deviance, not unlike a Houdini. Attud, Warriors is a famous book starring 4 clans of cats that can talk and kill each-other. There are 22 books.

    Band-Aids @ Butter Up
    We all know Band-Aids won't stick if you're covered in butter. Will the Band-Aids avenge a 16-15 loss from last season?

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "I sense victories for Big Ballas, Pitchers, High Rollers and Band-Aids."
    Last week: 3-1

    On Deck: Finish Strong
    0-1    7 pm - Away
    L 9-10 to Big Ballas

    History:
    First ever meeting

    AWOL: None

    Finland dominated the women's team sprint at the Nordic skiing world championships Feb 25, 2009 to defend its title from two years ago.

    Aino Kaisa Saarinen and Virpi Kuitunen lived up to expectations and led from start to finish, clocking 19 minutes, 43.7 seconds in the classical style relay.

    Saarinen, who won the opening 10-kilometer classical race on Thursday, pulled away from the field on the first of six 1.3-kilometer legs. Kuitunen extended the lead to 13 seconds on the second leg, effectively deciding the race, and no team ever came close to catching up. Kuitunen entered the final leg with a 23 second lead and could wave to the crowd going into the home straight.

    Gameplan: Drink or spoon your miso - then show up to the field by 6:35pm. The first half of the batting order will play in Aino's honor, the bottom half in Virpi's honor. Make both skiatheletes proud!


    Latest: News & Injuries      
    EPTube   - Car(t)s
    May 1st   - Time is the only thief we can't get justice against.
    World's Funniest Commercial - courtesy of anonymous
    Blind Date - courtesy of anonymous
    BMW Commercial - courtesy of Andrew
    Best Commercial in Europe - courtesy of Raoul

    Future Empty Pitcher
    May 1st   - Congrats to Julie (season 2 sub) on having a baby last week. Andrew will be facing stiff competition at shortstop in a few years.

    Lee's Plan B recap vs RamRods
    Apr 28th  - Nice on your first win against Band-Aids in league play. We squeaked one out against RamRod. We jumped out early on them and had a 6-0 score through 4 innings. Gave up 2 in the 5th, we got one back in the top of the 6th. They scored 6 in the 6th to go up 1. We came back in the top of the 7th and put four on the board to go up 3. Then in their last at bats that had the winning run at 2nd, with two outs, POP FLY-Game--Plan B. 10-9. The 3 new teams are pretty good and T.G.F.T.W. looks strong this season.

    EPTube
    Apr 28th   - Never waste time.
    Will It Blend? Glow Sticks - courtesy of Courtney
    Championship Cup Stacking - courtesy of Jamie
    Cats on a Treadmill - courtesy of Keith

    Message from Scott:
    Apr 27th   - Nice! Congrats on the return of the great empty pitcher! May it bring good fortune to your ballpark. :)

    New player cards
    Apr 27th  - Seven new cards to the deck above. More released soon.


    Recap: Relay Madness
    May 4th,'09 - 5 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 11, Finish Strong 7

    EP:    0   3   2   0   6   = 11
    FS:    3   0   0   0   4   = 7

    EP revealed nerves early in their first game on the road, which was represented by us using the other dugout.

    Finish Strong started strong despite only 9 players, converting the ol' 6-3 double-play holding us scoreless in the 1st while placing three runs of their own on the inactive scoreboard.

    If anything outshone the aforementioned relays tonight, plays at secondbase by both teams commanded the spotlight. Finish's strongest may be their 2B who dropped into RC when a hitter looked ferocious. If a ball was hit within 20 feet of her glove, she was there in the blink of an eye with the ball already consumed by her glove. In fact, every out in the stats below were her doing.

    Also setting the defensive tone was Andrew and the outfielders. His first relay, turned from Ted, landed perfectly in Sarah's lazily propped glove, catching the runner by a footstep at home. The next relay home wasn't as successful due to a bad hop while a third relay, this one to 2B via Courtney - Andrew, may have lost Connie indefinitely. After a quick catch and turn, her hand was smashed by the head of the headfirst diving baserunner, who ended up safe on a questionable call.

    Coach Buttertuso then sent Connie to the dugout to ice up.

    The game was filled with debateable calls by the blues, notably a "missed tag" by Jami after a wide throw and two "high" pitches late in the game that were no more than a beer pitcher above the batter's head (there's a 12 ft limit and the batter Jason faced was under 10 feet).

    Offensively, the team took it's first (in recent memory) 2-out walk in the 2nd. After three unhittable pitches to Keith, Ruthie automatically took firstbase to load the bases for Ron. Smooth single for two runs. In the deciding 5th, Andrew cleared loaded bases with his second homerun of the game with a shot over the 2B/RC's head.

    Finish Strong finished with a nice burst netting four runs, taking advantage of defensive gifts before Jason closed the book with a force at 2B. With the C's and SS's friendly banter, add this team to those we enjoy playing.

    Notes: Ten of twelve players scored; Andrew is 6-6 this season with 3 HRs; only one game in the next three weeks, after which game temps will be hot... we may be drinking like Buttertuso in the pic above; 4 fans in the stands.

    Scouted: FS pitcher didn't appear to throw curves. Just good accuracy. Leftside of their defense rarely made mistakes. None of their hitters tested the outfield's backpeddling skills.


    The ball and plate know if you're thinking about stats while batting. Walks are counted as hits. Reaching on errors and fielders choices sadly aren't counted as hits.
    pu = stinky pop up

    Box Scores
    Ted
    2-3, 1R
    Amber
    1-3, 1R, 1pu
    Jason
    2-3, 1R, 1RBI
    Courtney
    1-3, 1R, 1RBI
    Andrew
    3-3, 2R, 5RBIs, 2HR
    Connie
    2-3, 1R
    Jamie
    3-3, 1R
    Jami
    1-3, 0R
    Keith
    1-3, 1R, 2RBI, 1pu
    Ruthie
    1-3, 1pu
    Ron
    1-2, 0R, 2RBIs
    Sarah
    1-2, 1R


    Sunday Scores     

    1st Rd Dft 26, Big Ballas 10
    EP 16, Finish Strong 7
    Warriors 14 , High Rollers 10
    Band-Aids 17, Butter Up 16

    Lots of walks force BB's to change P's in the 2nd inning after giving up 12 and 10 runs. Band-Aids score big upset ending their slide.

    Elsewhere
    TGFTW 22, Black Sox 3
    Plan B 23, Donkey Fire 9
    Softball Team 11, AZ Devils 4
    GT Bombers 24, Landsharks 9


    Standings     

     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    2-0  (  14 / 6 )    Empty Pitchers
    1-1  (  21 / 13 )    Butter Up
    1-1  (  19 / 11 )  1st Round Draft
    1-1  (  11 / 13 )  High Rollers
    1-1  (  11 / 16 )    Band-Aids
    1-1  (  11 / 18 )    Warriors
    1-1  (  10 / 18 )    Big Ballas
    0-2  (  8 / 14 )    Finish Strong


    Upcoming 

    Butter Up & High Rollers
    Both teams will be preparing and serving baked goods at a veterans center over the holiday weekend.

    Big Ballas @ Band-Aids
    The Band-Aids will be performing at the veterans parade with the big ballas bouncing balls behind 'em in unison.

    Warriors @ Finish Strong
    Our soldiers are indeed warriors like the strong, brave soldiers of Finland.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk says:
    "Honor those who have sacrificed from all countries for a greater good."
    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 8-4

    On Deck: Big Ballas
    1-1    6pm

    History:
    W - 11-10 v Finish Strong
    L - 10-26 v 1st Round Draft

    AWOL: Ruthie (Amy), Amber (Melissa), Connie (?)

    Google "Big Ballas softball" and sadly our team site is the #1 result... before even Tempe's city website.

    Extending the googling fun:

    Andrew's 1st page listing

    Jami's 1st page listing

    Those are our only two high-profile players. Way to make a mark outside the sports world, though many of us are not sure there is a world outside sports.

    Alright - there is an outside world and it's inside a cooled theater. Here is what lines up to be perhaps the best movie summer in memory.

    With all the high nerds and king nerds (there is a new nerd test, Version 2.0 - feel free to email your "copy and paste code" results), I imagine most on the team will be interested in 80% of these movies:

    Wolverine (now)
    Star Trek (now)
    Angels and Demons (May 15)
    Terminator Salvation (May 22)
    Night at the Museum 2 (May 22)
    Land of the Lost (Jun 5)
        (Will Farrell)
    Year One (Jun 19)
        (Jack Black &
        Michael Cera)
    Transformers
        (Jun 26)
    Bruno (Jul 10)
    Harry Potter - Half Blood Prince (Jul 15)
    GI Joe - Rise of Cobra (Aug 7)
    Inglourious Basterds (Aug 21)
        (Tarentino directing Brad Pitt)

    Pregame - Be at the fields by 5:40pm warming up. Have fun out there. Continue the fun afterwards with drinks and food post-game?


    Latest: News & Injuries      
    Injuries
    May 11th   - Connie: Played Friday night in RF and collected several hits. We'll know more later this week if she'll rest Sunday.

    EPTube   - Time Lapse - Part I
    May 7th   - The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. - Albert Einstein
    Trapped in an Elevator 41 hrs
    Nature - Stars and other Sensitive Images
    Home Alone
    Gecko Eaten By Ants

    New player profile
    May 7th  - Find out who it is.

    New player cards
    May 5th  - Seven new cards to the deck above. More released soon. Reviving the old news ticker, teammate-recommended YouTube videos will be posted towards the end of each week.

    Recaps
    May 5th   - Lauren of the Band-Aids got their recap up yesterday of our game last week along with their victory Sunday snapping their losing streak. Nice scouting for us. Click Recaps once on page.

    Moonlighting
    May 2nd   - Ron subbed for Plan B's Lee's mens team, playing a doubleheader and knocking hits everywhere including a homer.


    Recap: Rare'in To Go
    May 17th,'09 - 3 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 23, Big Ballas 3

    BB:    0     1   2   = 3
    EP:    15   0   9   = 23

    The year's first monsoon clouds arrived hours before first pitch, blocking out sun that had been cooking us since the early morning with temps 100 degrees (that's 37 C). Those clouds brought both late-afternoon shade and heat-trapping moisture (humidity), setting up Mother Nature's chosen handicap for our game.

    While the stray lightning bolt flashed to the south of us among distant visible downpours, the sun god, Ra, directed his remaining rays of hot, glaring sun from the west into the eyes of our fielders stationed at SS, 3B, LF and LC.

    Big Wins in EP History

    26-1 vs Los Diablos 's3
    23-1 vs Jagerbombers 's4
    23-3 vs Big Ballas 's7
    15-1 vs Massage Envy 's5

    Our Own Ugly Losses
    5-19 vs Band-Aids 's3
    5-16 vs AZ Devils 's6
    10-21 vs GT Bombers 's5
    GT Bombers are only team since start of season 3 to score 20 or more runs against us.
    Now that our scene is set, Courtney started the game off racing in for a shallow pop fly to leftfield. Like the shuttle manuevering to dock with hubble, the ball disappeared into the bay of her glove. Then the Ballas began ballin', getting every batter onbase. But EP's interior refused to allow runners beyond Melissa's guard at 2B and the Big Ballas took the field scoreless.

    The EP factory rolled-out 17 of their first 18 batters to the basepaths in the first inning, the lone exception being Jamie with his $1 pop-up to the catcher. Everyone but Amber batted twice in the first inning and the first six each scored twice in the inning. For now, that's a rarity. At the end of one, it was 15-0.

    The 2nd inning passed quickly for both sides, though the team made a rare defensive move calling the bullpen after just one inning. Jason was forcibly removed from the mound in favor of Ron's fresh free agent arm.

    The Ballas were eager to help Ron by swinging back into contention at anything close and by the time they had two outs, they had scored a run and loaded the bases. The potential for a rally ended as the only hit to be mustered was a grounder to SS, resulting in a force at 3B, now manned by Jason.

    Ron returned to the mound in the 3rd inning as the BallaBats continued to awaken. They managed a couple more runs while giving Ron the opportunity to showcase his defensive skills on the mound, gloving a sharp bouncer to his left and making the difficult turn to 2B for the force (which Keith was already in position backing up).

    It was a long day in the outfield, and we're not talking about errors or lots of activity. Jamie and Keith were fighting for any grounders up the middle while Amber and Connie shared peaceful time for pensive thoughts in RF, nothing disturbing their zen until they had to return to the dugout. Only Courtney in leftfield saw semi-consistent work scooping up shots dropping past the infield.

    In the bottom of the 3rd, Amy lead the parade of five straight batters scoring before Amber was forced at 2B to record the first out. The run on runs then continued until Melissa and Andrew scored, forcing the umps to call the game.

    Gone (sub): Sarah (Amy); Ruthie (Melissa); Ted (None)

    Notes: Unofficial records set: Most runs in an inning (15), shortest game (3 innings); Ted missed the game attending a fan's birthday (his sister, Marlee); Andrew had an off night, likely due to the distraction of his personal photographer and his dog eating rare chicken that had defrosted on a kitchen counter; Andrew was scheduled to pitch the 4th and 5th innings; Courtney had the two-out walk option, chose to swing and crushed a shot into the OF; Courtney also reached 3B twice in two at-bats after throws home to catch Ron scoring bounced wildly; hungry and thirsty EP's visited Fuddruckers post-game and enjoyed a variety of shakes, sauces to dip potato wedges and a very rare burger that was ordered medium-rare by Jami. It was more red than our throwback jerseys!

    Scouted: Not much to report on since nothing special was shown at the plate or in the field. Their pitcher throws very basic pitches. They have talent and used to play in a doubleheader league in Phoenix before the leagues were contracted. Art is the manager - he's interested in scrimmaging between seasons.



    Sunday Scores     

    EP 23, Big Ballas 3
    Band-Aids 13, Warriors 11
    Finish Strong 10, High Rollers 2
    Butter Up 21, 1st Round Drft 14

    Elsewhere
    Plan B 15, Black Sox 11
    (Plan B is 3-0, tied for 1st, while FR RamRods face 0-4)

    GT Bombers 22, Softball Tm 15
    Purpose Driven 24, Az Devils 4
    (Last week Softball Team beat AZDevils 11-4)


    Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    3-0  (  17 / 5   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    2-1  (  11 / 14 )    
    2-1  (  21 / 13 )    
    Butter Up
    1-2  (  17 / 21 )  
    1st Round Draft
    1-2  (  11 / 16 )    
    Warriors
    1-2  (    9 / 8   )    
    Finish Strong
    1-2  (    8 / 12 )  
    High Rollers
    1-2  (    8 / 19 )    
    Big Ballas


    Upcoming 

    Butter Up & High Rollers
    Both teams will be preparing and serving baked goods at a veterans center over the holiday weekend.

    Big Ballas @ Band-Aids
    The Band-Aids will be performing at the veterans parade with the big ballas bouncing balls behind 'em in unison.

    Warriors @ Finish Strong
    Our soldiers are indeed warriors like the strong, brave soldiers of Finland.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk says:
    "Butter will steamroll, Band-Aids will dance and Warriors will use wisdom to earn victories. Lastly, 1st Round will not be around come final round."
    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 8-4

    On Deck: 1st Round Draft
    1-2    6pm

    L 11-12 @ High Rollers
    W 26-10 @ Big Ballas
    L 14-21 Butter Up

    History:
    First meeting

    AWOL: None ( )

    Every team we have played this season has come off a loss. The Band-Aids last game of the season was a loss and we beat them in the opener.

    Both Finish Strong and Big Ballas lost their game coming into the matchup with us. Both lost.

    Interestingly, both the Band-Aids and Finish Strong responded with wins in their next games, perhaps the slapdown we put down on them woke them up.

    1st Round Draft comes into the game after a loss.

    Will the streak continue or will EP crack?

    Should we win, next week we play High Rollers who have a tough match with Butter Up this week, so we have a chance to extend this streak.

    Don't take this week's team lightly. This team has scored 11, 26 and 14 runs. They have also given up 12, 10 and 21 runs. Keep the ball on the ground, avoid the pop flies.

    Final thoughts
    Have fun this game. Relax. Cold drinks afterwards.


    Latest: News & Injuries      
    New classic player cards
    May 19th  - In celebration of Memorial Day, in addition to our veterens who both made it home and those who didn't, we remember our players who are no longer with us every week.

    Injuries
    May 18th   - Connie: Though still not 100%, did no further damage in her limited play Sunday. From Andrew's shoulder to Keith's sensitive psyche, everyone should be healed after another two week period.

    Moonlighting
    May 17th   - Amber's softball sloshball team took 2nd place in California this weekend. Did she display any signs of being hung over while playing Sunday night in the oppressive heat?
    May 15th   - Jamie pulled a Gattuso Friday night with the Free Agents subbing at SS and hitting two HRs.








    The ball and plate know if you're thinking about stats while batting. Walks are counted as hits. Reaching on errors and fielders choices sadly aren't counted as hits.
    pu = stinky pop up

    *Note - A scorer or two forgot to track RBIs this game, so with 23 runs and 11 batters, each will get credit for 2 RBIs and Raoul will pick up the remaining RBI.

    Courtney's Lineup
    & Box Scores
    Jason
    4-4, 3R, 2RBIs
    Melissa
    3-4, 3R, 2RBIs
    Andrew
    2-4, 2R, 2RBIs
    Amy
    3-4, 3R, 2RBIs
    Ron
    3-3, 3R, 2RBIs
    Courtney
    3-3, 3R, 2RBIs
    Jamie
    2-3, 2R, 2RBIs, 1pu
    Jami
    3-3, 2R, 2RBIs
    Keith
    2-3, 1R, 2RBIs
    Amber
    3-3, 1R, 2RBIs
    Connie
    1-2, 1R, 2RBIs
    Raoul
    0-0, 0R, 1RBI



    Recap: Brights Spots
    May 17th,'09 - 3 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 28, 1st Round Draft 20

    EP:     2   6   8   5   7 = 28
    1RD:   1   1   8   8   2 = 20

    Up 16-2 and taking the field in the bottom of the 3rd, it looked to be another team-stat-padding game. Then, two things happened.

    1st Rd Drft started dropping shots where we weren't and they started lining shots where the sun glared into our eyes.

    There's no way we'll credit Andrew with 15 errors when the sun was handicapping him. The sun messed with most of our team, whether it was an OF relaying to a cutoff or Jason on the mound trying to find the plate.

    The sun was so tough that Jason walked back-to-back guys with two outs, meaning two girls also got free bases.

    But the Pitchers are resilient and Jason would rebound with precision strikes while Andrew & Co. prevented extra bases on several hard shots late in the game.

    Only in the first inning did we score less than five runs. Amy had her second 3-4 game, clubbing several shots easily into the outfield grass. Ruthie must have distracted the 1st Rd Drft pitcher because she drew 3 walks and Connie could easily have been 5-5 if the 3B hadn't grabbed those lasers, while Andrew hit for the cycle, his near homerun being thrown out at the plate technically a triple.

    Gone (sub): Sarah (Amy); Amber (None)

    Notes: Twenty eight runs scored is two more than our previous record; the teams combined scored 48 runs; the sun was to blame for Amy's only out by blinding the ump looking from 2B towards 1B; three pitchers struck out within a ten minute span: Jason, 1st Rd Drft's pitcher and early in the next game former Plan B-now-Butter Up pitcher, Corey; six fans in the stand, five for Ron and Connie; $2 Miller bottles (team collected $2 in popups tonight), decked out nachos and bean bag toss at Dos Gringos post game; way to go, Ted, challenging some girl and guy, then using Jason as your ringer to improve the team to 2-0 tonight.

    Scouted: They have two players who can jack the ball to the fence; they'll play three guys in OF including corners; right side of infield gives up baserunners; 3B girl is quick with strong, accurate arm; good P who can mix up pitches; OF is good but sometimes play too shallow.


    The ball and plate know if you're thinking about stats while batting. Walks are counted as hits. Reaching on errors and fielders choices sadly aren't counted as hits.
    pu = stinky pop up
    BB = walk

    Andrew's Lineup
    & Box Scores
    Keith
    1-3, 2R, 2RBIs
    Ted
    2-2, 2R, 1RBI
    Ruthie
    3-5, 3R, 1RBI, 3BBs
    Ron
    2-5, 4R, 3RBIs, 1pu
    Connie
    3-5, 3R, 1RBI, 1BB
    Andrew
    5-5, 2R, 8RBIs
    Courtney
    3-5, 2R, 2RBIs
    Jamie
    4-5, 3R, 4RBIs, 1pu
    Jami
    3-5, 2R, 3RBIs
    Jason
    4-5, 3R, 1RBI
    Amy
    3-4, 2R, 1RBI


    Sunday Scores     

    EP 28, 1st Rd Dft 20
    Butter Up 13, High Rollers 8
    Band-Aids 20, Big Ballas 7
    Warriors 20, Finish Strong 9

    Elsewhere
    On last season's field in a battle of 3-0 teams, Tappa Kegga Brew grabs the inside track on the #1 seed from Plan B, 14-10.

    Winning 18-5, FR RamRods get their first victory since beating EP last season.

    Donkey Fire 17, TGFTW 16
    AZ Devils 13, Landsharks 12
    GT Bombers 11, Armadillos 4
    (Bombers are 4-0 and atop perhaps the toughest division)


    Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    4-0  (  20 / 9   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    3-1  (  19 / 12 )    
    Butter Up
    3-1  (  14 / 13 )    
    2-2  (  13 / 15 )    
    Warriors
    1-3  (  18 / 18 )  
    1st Round Draft
    1-3  (    9 / 11   )    
    Finish Strong
    1-3  (    8 / 12 )  
    High Rollers
    1-3  (    8 / 20 )    
    Big Ballas


    Upcoming 

    Band-Aids @ Finish Strong
    Band-Aids have found their rhythm and got a good groove. Finish Strong has the league's second best defense. Good bands always finish strong.

    Big Ballas @ Butter Up
    Big Ballas are finding out they butter step up if they're going to hang in the big leagues. They have seen the toughest four-game stretch in recent Tempe D-League memory: 1st Rd Drft, EP, Band-Aids and now Butter Up.

    1st Round Draft @ Warriors
    Riding a two-game losing streak while scoring 14 and 20 runs, 1st Rd Drft gets two good shots at wins against Warriors and Finish Strong before their season finale with the Band-Aids. This'll be the tougher game of the two.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk says:
    "I can already hear the Band-Aids rocking an encore. A shiver thru my body makes me sense the Big Ballas will be all buttered up while the Warriors give the final round shaft to First Round Draft. For those up late partying, alcohol will out-buzz the doobys."
    Last week: 4-0
    Total: 12-4

    On Deck: High Rollers
    1-3    9pm

    W 12-11 v 1st Round Draft
    L 10-14 v Warriors
    L 2-10 v Finish Strong
    L 8-13 v Butter Up

    History:
    First meeting

    AWOL: None ( )

    High Rollers is a gameshow from the 70's originally hosted by Alex Trebek.

    Two contestants competed to remove numbers off a game board containing the digits 1 through 9 by rolling an oversized pair of dice.

    In order to determine who gained control of the dice, Trebek asked a toss-up question.

    Some of the more unusual prizes to be won included:
    • A collection of musical dolls.
    • African masks.
    • 12 portable televisions (one for the contestant and 11 for friends).
    • A fully-catered gourmet banquet for 50 people.
    • A trip to the Kentucky Derby with $100 bets on each horse.
    • A fully-equipped built-in home aquarium (stocked with exotic fish).
    • A $10,000 antique Chinese fishbowl, which was offered on the 1980 Finale
    Here's the final round: Five grand and a new car on a pair of snake eyes.

    High time to prepare
    Have fun this game. Relax. Cold drinks before?


    Latest: News & Injuries      
    Correction   - Andrew's 15 Errors Retraction
    Jun 1st   - SS Andrew Gattuso appeared late-afternoon at the publisher's headquarters to dispute statistics gathered at the game.

    "15 errors?? I didn't have one error........well maybe one," countered Gattuso, " or possibly two at the most. Cut me some slack, man. Pop ups that are lost in the sun in MLB games are scored as hits."

    The seven season vet added, "I've never been in a game before that you couldn't see a ground ball though."

    This is the team's first season playing on a southeast field.

    Travelers
    Jun 1st  - Known travel and confirmed subs
    Jun 21st: Jami ?, Amy, Jason (none: Ron or Andrew pitching )
    Jun 28th: Amy, Jason (none: Ron or Andrew pitching )
    Jul 12th: Courtney (Shannon), Connie (none), Ron (none)

    EPTube   - Time Lapse - Part II
    Jun 1st   - Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.
    Future Empty Pitcher
    Panama Canal
    Making an Empty Pitcher Beautiful

    New player cards
    Jun 1st  - Seven new cards join the deck.



    Recap: Buzzed
    June 7th,'09 - 5 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 16, High Rollers 0

    HR:   0   0   0   0   0 = 0
    EP:   6   1   4   5   x = 16

    The High Rollers truly were high rolling, or at least still rolling back from Vegas. With half the team returning from birthday celebrations in Vegas, the team played with just four regulars and short one in the OF.

    EP never knows any other choice but playing their brand of ball and came away with their second shutout in team history, the last a 4th season 9-0 win over Doc & Eddy's.

    Jason took some pine in the fifth as Ron finished the game on four pitches, a good omen as he will take over pitching duties in week 7 against the Warriors and in our first round playoff game.

    At the plate, Jamie, Keith and Ted went 8-for-8, scoring 5 runs. Andrew and Jamie combined for 3 homeruns.

    Newton's 3rd law of physics tells us for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. We had four batters strikeout.

    What about his other two laws of physics applied to the game?

    His second law says the relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. If you swing a heavier bat or find a way to accelerate it faster (wrist snap, hip movement, etc), you'll hit the ball with more force. Accomplish both and ZOINKS!

    Lastly, his first law warns an object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. If a ball is screaming towards you in the field, it'll stay screaming unless a gust of wind or a soft patch of ground slows it down.

    Web gem: Andrew took a relay and zeroed in on Sarah's glove to catch the only Rollerrunner to make the turn past third base. Andrew has thrown out at least three players at home this season.

    Gone (sub): None

    Notes: Amber was robbed in her final at-bat by a cheating OF, which the blues missed.. the team didn't miss it and credits her with a hit; Andrew has 13 runs batted in over the past two games; no walks given up by Jason, who pitched five games this weekend; Ron fouled 5 balls over the first base visitor's dugout; Jamie missed a grounder by over a foot under his glove at 3B; excluding last week's 28-20 victory, we have outscored our opponents 66-14 this season.

    Scouted: With only four regular players playing, who knows who was really on their team and of the four if they were in their normal spots. Pitcher threw good pitches and could field. Their LF made a nice diving grab on Jason's initial shot; High Rollers took spring season off but has finished as high as 2nd place in previous seasons.


    The ball and plate know if you're thinking about stats while batting. Walks are counted as hits. Reaching on errors and fielders choices sadly aren't counted as hits.
    BB = walk
    HR = homerun
    pu = stinky pop up
    R = run
    RBI = run batted in

    Box Scores
    Jason
    2-3, 1R, BB
    Ruthie
    0-3, sleepy
    Ron
    2-3, 2R
    Connie
    2-3, 2R, 2RBIs
    Andrew
    2-3, 2HR, 2R, 5RBIs
    Courtney
    2-3, 3R
    Jamie
    3-3, HR, 3R, 2RBIs
    Jami
    1-3, 1R, 4RBIs
    Keith
    3-3, 1R
    Amber
    1-3, 2pu
    Ted
    2-2, 1R, 2RBIs
    Sarah
    0-2, over-travelled



    Sunday Scores     

    Band-Aids 20, Finish Strong 7
    Butter Up 14, Big Ballas 2
    1st Rd Drft 13, Warriors 9
    EP 16, High Rollers 0

    The top four teams took on the bottom four teams this week, outscoring them a combined 63-18 or by an average score of 16-5.

    Elsewhere
    Free Agents (Ron, Connie and Jason's Friday Chandler team) won their opening playoff game after taking the #1 seed in the playoffs.

    FRRamRod 8, TGFTW 7
    Balls & Dolls 15, Plan B 3
    Angry Pirates 17, AZ Devils 7
    GT Bombers 16, Purp Driven 6
    (Bombers are 5-0 atop perhaps the toughest division)


    Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    5-0  (  19 / 7   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    4-1  (  18 / 10 )    
    Butter Up
    4-1  (  15 / 11 )    
    2-3  (  17 / 16 )  
    1st Round Draft
    2-3  (  12 / 14 )    
    Warriors
    1-4  (    8 / 13 )    
    Finish Strong
    1-4  (    6 / 13 )  
    High Rollers
    1-4  (    6 / 18 )    
    Big Ballas

    Band-Aids own tie-breaker over Butter Up. EP owns tie-breaker over Band-Aids.

    Upcoming 

    High Rollers @ Band-Aids
    High Rollers likely won't get their 2nd win until next week vs Big Ballas.

    Finish Strong @ 1st Rd Drft
    This will be Finish Strong's best chance for their 2nd win with Butter Up next week.

    Warriors @ Big Ballas
    Big Ballas likely won't get their 2nd win until next week vs High Rollers.

    Kieth asks a Tibetan Mountain Monk:
    "go EPs!!! 10-game streak! Where will it all end????"

    "I'd like to submit a question to the Tibetan Mountain Monk for a cryptic answer: which is the EP's greatest strength? Our phalanx-like defense or our hitting and smart baserunning?"

    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    "The Rollers will be bludgered by the Band-Aids, 1st Round shall be crowned, the Pitchers in a mighty war and the Warriors will achieve inner-diamond peace."

    "As for my friend Keith, EP's greatest strength is its unity and strong heart, whose beat is a harmony comprised of former and current players."


    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 15-5

    On Deck: Butter Up
    4-1    8pm

    W 26-8 v Warriors
    L 16-17 v Band-Aids
    W 21-14 v 1st Rd Drft
    W 13-8 v High Rollers
    W 14-2 v Big Ballas

    History:
    First meeting

    AWOL: None ( )

    This game will be EP's last with all regular players until this fall.

    The game will also be EP's first against a team not coming off a loss.

    This season, Butter Up is a mirror image of EP, except with a really cool goatie and a nasty streak.

    What makes you salivate?

    Delicious butter pecan oat bars
    Delicious butter cream icing?
    Delicious butter chicken
    Delicious butter mochi
    Delicious butter cookies
    Delicious peanut butter banana cake
    Delicious butter beans

    With a win this week we lock up the #1 seed.

    TIME Magazine

    Butter Up
    Monday, May. 17, 1954

    Agriculture Secretary Ezra Taft Benson likes to say that if every American farmer would only drink one extra glass of milk each day, the U.S. dairy surplus would soon vanish.

    Last week, with surpluses still climbing, Secretary Benson tried to get the U.S. Government itself interested in his milk-drinking campaign. Into the hallways of Washington's Agriculture Building went four vending machines, each dispensing half a pint of milk for 10.

    The Government's butter stocks are at 360 million Ibs., much of which must soon be moved out of the coolers to avoid spoilage.

    Benson reported that a "coupon plan" to give away a pound of Government butter to U.S. housewives for each one they bought was rejected for its "administrative awkwardness."

    The Commodity Credit Corp., said Benson, is negotiating with Britain to sell butter at the world market price of 47 a Ib. (v. 63 to 75 in the U.S.). If the deal goes through, it may lower the surplus by 80 million Ibs. But outside of Iron Curtain nations, which have a serious butter shortage, there are few other countries to which the U.S. can sell butter without hurting local suppliers and other butter-exporting nations.

    Lauren's Scouting Report (mostly for the benefit of the Empty Pitchers):
    Butter Up's throwing is a saving grace when you're on the offensive. They made 2 or 3 wildly high throws to first base. Other than that, their defense is strong. No many errors. Their outfield is weak on the right side and somewhat on the center, so if you're someone who can place the ball, take that into consideration. They've got great hitters, both male and female. They like to drop their hits in the dead zone. This is the first time we've been without hits over our heads in awhile. It's best to be ready to run up. Most of their girls hit along the left field line. The pitcher bats left-handed and hits up the center. And two of their guys hit to right, but as long as you put someone strong in right, you should be okay. :)

    Revealing an ANCIENT butter making secret
    To make butter it requires, shaking, shaking, shaking, MORE shaking, lots of shaking, but the end result is FANTASTIC. Shake it at the plate before every pitch. Have fun! Swing a bat after warming up your arm. Watch for the giant pterodactyl.


    Latest: News & Injuries      
    Correction   - Card Obscenity
    Jun 7th   - Ted Organ's newest card, #44 in the series, contains a profane word on the beanbag. The word F### appears.

    The publisher of the cards has apologized and reissued the card without the profanity, though some of the old ones may still pop up.

    Collectors have valued the error card around $150.00, according to bidding on Ebay.

    This isn't the first time an obscenity has made it's way onto a card. In 1989, the youngest Ripken had his card promptly replaced and he finally fesses up that he had a small part. Here are more baseball card errors, just so we don't feel so alone. Ted's made no official comment.

    New player cards
    Jun 7th  - Five new cards join the deck.



    Recap: Margarine Meltdown
    June 14th,'09 - 5 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 27, Butter Up 14

    EP:   8   8   2   4   5 = 27
    BU:   4   5   0   1   4 = 14

    The Empty Pitchers broke out the microwave, not the saucepan for Butter Up.

    Fans watched the game's first 7 batters cross the starboard plate as EP unloaded a mix of singles and doubles to start the game. Butter Up hoisted its sails responding with exactly half in the inning's hull.

    Ditching the boat references and back to the butter, EP sizzled in the second splattering 8 more across on another parade of singles and doubles, just as the head chef ordered.

    Butter didn't place a short order cook out there to serve pitches. They hired Corey, formerly of Plan B, to pepper the plate with greasy pitches. Down 16-4 and without a hairnet, Corey led the charge as 5 of their first 6 runners scored to close the gap to 16-9.

    However, that was the closest the game would get. Corey finished the game 2-3 at the plate, scoring twice and perhaps a little bummed at the way we devoured his pitches without savoring any part of them. It didn't help that his wait-staff was dropping trays in the field.

    Butter Up's players seemed friendly with a sense of humor and an appreciation for the temperature of our bats. They were playing a few subs so who knows how things will go in a rematch.

    Web gem: Keith to Andrew to Jamie just in time to apply the tag on a buttery sliding baserunner. Score it 9-6-5.

    Web phlem: Of eight playable balls to Jamie at 3B, he only converted two outs, a dismal .250 fielding %. Two under the glove, two grounders off the glove, one wide throw and a liner off the glove... chalk up six errors for our thirdbaseman.

    Gone (sub): Sarah (Amy)

    Notes: Last week Amber was robbed of a hit, this week it was Keith who would have been 4-4; Ron pitched the first two innings with ease walking just one as Jason and Amy helped another softball team find a championship; buttery bliss for Andrew 5-for-5, Ron 4-4 and Amy 2-2.

    Scouted: Lauren's preview was spot on. Their left side is stronger than right side of their defense. All their women have power to put it hard on the ground.


    The ball and plate know if you're thinking about stats while batting. Walks are counted as hits. Reaching on errors and fielders choices sadly aren't counted as hits.
    BB = walk
    HR = homerun
    pu = stinky pop up
    R = run
    RBI = run batted in

    Box Scores
    Ted
    3-5, 3R, RBI
    Amber
    1-5, 3R, pu
    Andrew
    5-5, 2HR, 4R, 8RBIs
    Ruthie
    2-5, 2R, 2RBIs, pu
    Ron
    4-4, 3R, 2RBIs
    Courtney
    3-4, 3R, 2RBIs
    Jamie
    3-4, 2R, 3RBIs
    Jami
    2-4, 2R, RBI, pu
    Keith
    3-4, 2R, 4RBIs
    Connie
    2-3, 2R, RBIs
    Jason
    1-2, R
    Amy
    2-2, R. 2RBIs



    Sunday Scores     

    Band-Aids 24, High Rollers 2
    1st Rd Draft 12, Finish Strg 11
    EP 28, Butter Up 14
    Warriors 22 Big Ballas 8

    Elsewhere
    Free Agents (Ron, Connie and Jason's Friday Chandler team) won their opening playoff game after taking the #1 seed in the playoffs.

    Plan B 9, TGFTW 9
    Angry Pirates 12, GT B's 10
    (Both now 5-1 tied 1st NE)
    Saki B 12, Green Team 6
    (Saki B are 5-1 and in 1st SW)


    Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    6-0  (  20 / 8   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    5-1  (  16 / 10 )    
    4-2  (  17 / 13 )    
    Butter Up
    3-3  (  16 / 15 )  
    1st Round Draft
    3-3  (  14 / 13 )    
    Warriors
    2-4  (    9 / 13 )    
    Finish Strong
    1-5  (    6 / 15 )  
    High Rollers
    0-6  (    7 / 19 )    
    Big Ballas

    Band-Aids own tie-breaker over Butter Up. EP owns tie-breaker over Band-Aids.

    Upcoming 

    Finish Strong @ Butter Up
    Finish Strong has only cracked double-digit runs twice (10 and 11). Butter Up's lowest total is 13.

    Band-Aids @ 1st Rd Drft
    Band-Aids have rolled off 20-7, 20-7 and 24-2 twins. 1st Round Draft gets an early feel for playoff softball.

    High Rollers @ Big Ballas
    A High Roller win means they grab the 6 seed over Finish Strong.

    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    "A buttery taste creeps into my mouth, followed by a little alcohol, then I distinctly smell rubber and it's followed by then my ears start ringing like mad."

    Last week: 4-0
    Total: 19-5

    On Deck: Warriors
    3-3    7pm

    L 8-26 v Butter Up
    W 14-10 v High Rollers
    L 11-13 v Band-Aids
    W 20-9 v Finish Strong
    L 9-13 v 1st Round Draft
    W 22-8 v Big Ballas

    History:
    First meeting

    AWOL: Amy, Jason (None), Ted, Sarah

    For those of you not betting all season long what "warrior" references would be in this preview, below were the odds:

    Beware the lady warrior
    The odds of Scandal's song "The Warrior" being referenced:   4-1

    With EPW never having watched a Xena Warrior Princess show, the odds off Xena making it on the site:   15-1.

    Those odds combined would normally be 60-1 but EPW (Empty Pitcher Webeditor) thoroughly enjoys both 80's one-hit wonders and video paradies. With YouTube that one-stop-shop, those odds shrunk to 2-1:

    For those bothered by the erotic tone of the above, believe me when I say you do not want to see the erotic A-Team montage of four guys driving around in a van.

    Beware the ultimate warrior
    Odds of seeing this guy: 6-1.

    Was looking for cool wrestling montages but this was cooler: Sean Hannity wrestling the Ultimate Warrior. Hannity knows where he wants to go and uses his only move (talking over people) while Ultimate attempts fighting off the full-nelson.

    Beware the warrior's enemies
    Odds of seeing this movie trailer if Andrew hadn't submitted it: 600-1.

    If you liked this trailer, you're gonna love its baseball scene.

    Lauren's Look
    Our outfield got a workout. Warriors know how to drop em. Play a couple feet back of the line for male batters. Don't recall their girls hitting the outfield unless along the left field line. One guy on their team is super fast (he's small, but he can RUN) and turned singles into triples. He hits center or in back of second base. Play him at the outfield line. The Warriors' pitcher knows how to work the plate. When I was in the box, he always pitched me inside and short first, then went outside with it. But it was just as well because an outside pitch is easy to convert into a right field hit and their right field was, fortunately for us, pretty weak.

    Pregame Warpainting / Postgame War Spoils Splitup
    Be at the park 6:40 at the latest. Stick around after to watch Band-Aids v 1st Rd Draft battle. Should be a good fun game and the weather nice. Bring a flask filled with booze. We can discuss Warrior v Hannity.


    Latest: News & Injuries      
    New player cards
    Jun 16th  - Twenty-six new cards join the deck. Only three are EP cards, the rest our memorable opponents. These will be the last additions for the season.

    Andrew's Condo for Rent
    Jun 16th  - Anyone know anyone looking for a place to toss dirty jerseys? Check out this palace

    Correction   - Card Obscenity


    Recap: Perfection? Please..
    June 21st,'09 - 5 innings:
    Warriors 14, Empty Pitchers 12

    WA:   0   4   1   4   5 = 14
    EP:    7   2   1   2   0 = 12

    Band-Aids.
    AZ Devils.
    GT Bombers.
    Plan B.
    Final Round RamRod.

    Of the 30+ different teams played, these five stand out because they yanked victories or defeated us in ways reminding us of our softball mortality.

    We add the Warriors to that list.

    Congratulations.

    Perhaps EP got a little confident with it's 7-0 lead heading into the 2nd inning. Here's what happened:

    First give credit. The Warrior hitters kept getting hotter as the game progressed. They never lost their cool, never got cocky but built on their mid-game success.

    The Warrior pitcher had excellent control working both the inside and outside of the plate, getting EP to chase pitches leading to six popups. When did we start adding $ signs to the scoresheet?

    Their shallow RC enticed some of our guys to hit over her head, leading to overzealous swings and the above mentioned pop-ups. The rest of their defense played well enough to catch us in two tagouts (though Amber was safe at 3B in the first inning).

    Don't forget Ron's pitching performance for EP. He gets credit for keeping us in the entire game with Jason gone, yielding no walks and making every play defensively.

    Then make excuses. The median for number of plays goofed in the field tonight per player was two, higher than our season average of zero. But chances are if you're not making an error on Sunday night, you're either traveling or not involved with a team.

    Perhaps we got overconfident with a 7-0 lead, a perfect season so far and an 11-game win streak, especially against a talented team like the Warriors. Perhaps, and most likely, the team was just not the same without Amy, Jason, Sarah and Ted.

    Web gem: Last week a 9-6-5 force at thirdbase after a line drive to the outfield. This week it was Justin leading an 8-6-5 and Connie, Amber, Jami with the 10-4-3.

    Gone (sub): Ted (Justin), Jason (none), Sarah (none)

    Notes: The old streak ends at 11 and a new one begins; standing up to the Warriors: Ron 4-4, Justin 3-3,

    Scouted: Just like last week, Lauren's preview was spot on. Their left side is stronger than right side of their defense. All their women have power to put it hard on the ground or over the infield.


    The ball and plate know if you're thinking about stats while batting. Walks are counted as hits. Reaching on errors and fielders choices sadly aren't counted as hits.
    BB = walk
    HR = homerun
    pu = stinky pop up
    R = run
    RBI = run batted in

    Box Scores
    Ron
    4-4. 2R, 2RBI
    Connie
    2-4, 1R, 2RBI
    Andrew
    2-3, 2R, 2RBI
    Courtney
    2-4, 2R, 1RBI, pu
    Jamie
    2-4, 1R, 1RBI, 2pu
    Jami
    2-4, 2RBI
    Keith
    0-4, 3pu, portrait
    Amber
    2-3, 1RBI
    Justin
    3-3, 2R, 1RBI
    Ruthie
    2-3, 2R

    Is that a portrait of Keith or Kenny Loggins coaching 3B?



    Butter Up 12, Finish Strong 11
    Warriors 14, EP 12
    Band-Aids 26, 1st Rd Draft 0
    Big Ballas, High Rollers 1

    Band-Aids are the hottest team in Phoenix over the past four weeks outscoring opponents 88-16.

    Mirror, mirror... undefeated Tappa Kegga Brew lost 12-9 to TGFTW.
    GT Bombers 22, AZ Devils 7
    Angry Pirates 17, SB Team 12


    Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    6-1  (  19 / 9   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    6-1  (  18 / 8 )    
    6-1  (  ? / ? )    
    Tappa Kegga Brew
    5-2  (  17 / 13 )    
    Butter Up
    4-3  (  14 / 13 )    
    Warriors
    3-4  (  14 / 17 )  
    1st Round Draft
    2-5  (    9 / 12 )    
    Finish Strong
    1-6  (    9 / 16 )    
    Big Ballas
    1-6  (    5 / 16 )  
    High Rollers



    Upcoming 

    Warriors @ Tappa Kegga Brew
    Warriors are 1-1 against beer-named teams. It is worth noting for gambling purposes that beer-name teams referring to the beginning of the drinking process are 1-0 against the Warriors.

    1st Rd Drft @ Butter Up
    Already dubbed "Butterbeer II". 1st Rd Drft was knocked out late in their season matchup 21-14 and is coming off a serious 26-0 concussion by the The Band-Aids.

    Finish Strong @ Band-Aids
    Band-Aids won 24-2 just two weeks ago. Look for more of the same.

    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    "Beer, Beer, Butter, Bands. Sounds like a weekend in Wisconsin."

    Last week: 2-2
    Total: 21-7

    On Deck: Big Ballas
    Record: 1-6     History: 1-0     6pm
    L 9-10 @ Finish Strong
    L 10-26 1st Round Draft
    L 3-23 @ Empty Pitchers
    L 7-20 Band-Aids
    L 2-14 Butter Up
    L 8-22 Warriors
    W 21-1 High Rollers

    Runs for: 61   Against: 115   Total: -54
    AWOL: Jason (None), Sarah (None), Amy

    Looking for a fun image using Google and the words "Big Ballas" (then clicking images)? The fourth picture shown is our Tibetian Mountain Monk off our website. Tell Jamie what teams are featured in the caption's matchup and reduce your pop-up fee by $1.

    Looking for a sick website that ranks high in Google art galleries? Contact Jamie.

    Scouting We Paid A Fortune For
    Pitcher tosses vanilla. They have talent and used to play in a doubleheader league in Phoenix. Most hitters go left-field.

    Stat to Jinx Us
    The team is 1-0 against Big Ballas when Ron pitches 2+ innings.

    Big Pregame
    We have the field to practice in the heat. No later than 5:40pm for this playoff. 5:30pm if you want extra infield practice.

    Big Postgame
    I'm sure a few of us will stick around to scout Tappa Kegga Brew for next week if they beat the Warriors - should be an interesting game and plenty stinkin' hot. Special cold treat for those who stay a bit.


    Latest: News & Injuries      
    New player cards
    Jun 16th  - Twenty-six new cards join the deck. Only three are EP cards, the rest our memorable opponents. These will be the last additions for the season.

    Andrew's Condo for Rent
    Jun 16th  - Anyone know anyone looking for a place to toss dirty jerseys? Check out this palace

    Correction   - Card Obscenity

    Season Seven Playoffs

    #1 Empty Pitchers     21
    #8 Big Ballas               1

    #4 Tappa Kegga Brew   11
    #5 Warriors                       7

    #1 Empty Pitchers
    vs
    #4 Tappa Kegga Brew



    Championship Game


    #7 Finish Strong
    vs
    #6 1st Round Draft

    #2 Band-Aids         8
    #7 Finish Strong   10

    #3 Butter Up              7
    #6 1st Round Draft   9



    Recap: Big Balla Bustin
    June 28th,'09 - 3 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 21, Big Ballas 1

    BB:   0   1   0 = 1
    EP:   4   9   8 = 21

    The ol' Pitchers flip last week's total of 12 runs score to end the early game mercifully under an oppressive hot, muggy early summer night.

    The sun didn't seem to affect the left side of our defense as in previous weeks and Ron found no difficulty locating the plate.

    The Ballas scored their only run on a bases-loaded deep grounder to 3B, which Jamie scooped and then stomped to get the sure second out of the inning. The next batter's grounder ended the inning.

    The Pitchers had threatened to blow the big ballas bubble earlier in the first by loading the bases only to have consecutive batters fly out. Keith, off an 0-4 portrait the week earlier, delivered the big two out hit to give the Pitchers a cushion before taking the field in the second.

    Keith continued was the big RBI man for the night with four while going 3-3. Ron's night of perfection, his last of the season as he and Connie travel on the 12th, included turning 4 doubles into 3 triples with aggressive baserunning (and speed).

    The gameball goes to Jamie's little glove, which Ron had to use while his glove was in a top-secret shop.

    Web gem: After several long weeks, Jamie goes errorless at 3B, participating in three of the nine outs. Ron recorded four and Andrew the other two with Jami.

    Gone (sub): Ruthie (Melissa), Jason (none), Sarah (none)

    Notes: Big Ballas manager Art is alright - we'll be scrimmaging with them before next season; Courtney's first two singles went a combined distance of 28 inches, eventually scoring on both; pterodactyriffic: Ron 4-4, Andrew & Keith 3-3.

    Scouted: Tough to scout since the Ballas batters each only batted once; good 1B; outfielders didn't get a chance to get under many of our hits though relays were a problem which Ron took full advantage of.


    The ball and plate know if you're thinking about stats while batting. Walks are counted as hits. Reaching on errors and fielders choices sadly aren't counted as hits.
    BB = walk
    HR = homerun
    pu = stinky pop up
    R = run
    RBI = run batted in

    Box Scores
    Ron
    4-4. 3R, 2RBI, 3 triples
    Connie
    2-3, 2R, 2RBI
    Andrew
    3-3, 3R, 2RBI
    Courtney
    3-3, 3R, RBI
    Jamie
    2-3, 2R, 2RBI, pu
    Jami
    2-3, 2R, RBI
    Keith
    3-3, 2R, 4RBI
    Amber
    2-3, 1R, 2RBI
    Ted
    2-3, 2R, 3RBI
    Melissa
    2-3, 2R, 2RBI



    Sunday Scores     

    Empty Pitchers 21, Big Ballas 1
    Tappa Kegga Brew 11, Warriors 7
    1st Round Draft 10, Butter Up 8
    Finish Strong 9, Band-Aids 7

    Finish Strong avenged their mid-season 7-20 loss by returning to their style of good defense and pitching. Five times this season they've held opponents to 12 runs or less. Adding injury to insult, BA's Charles may have broken his ankle sliding.

    Tappa Kegga Brew prevented EP's "revenge game with the Warriors" (we'll request them for next season) while 1st Rd avenged their 14-21 loss to Butter Up.

    #1 Saki Bombers 7, T-Mobile 0
    #2 GT Bombers 14, WSST 2
    #6 AZ Devils 11, Armadillos 19
    #1 Plan B 2, #8 Black Sox 3
    #2 TGFTW 11, #7 Donkey Fire 12
    #3 FRRamRod 11, Balls&Dolls 19

    The #1, #2, #3 and #5 all lost on Plan B's field.


    Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    6-1  (  19 / 9   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    6-1  (  18 / 8 )    
    6-1  (  ? / ? )    
    Tappa Kegga Brew
    5-2  (  17 / 13 )    
    Butter Up
    4-3  (  14 / 13 )    
    Warriors
    3-4  (  14 / 17 )  
    1st Round Draft
    2-5  (    9 / 12 )    
    Finish Strong
    1-6  (    9 / 16 )    
    Big Ballas
    1-6  (    5 / 16 )  
    High Rollers



    Upcoming 

    Finish Strong @ 1st Rd Drft
    Three weeks ago, 1st Round pulled off the narrow 12-11 win. 1st Round is capable of putting up a lot of runs but their defense is suspect. Finish Strong plays smart D and can take advantage of errors in the field.

    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    "Time for the keg to be emptied while the first round is finished off. "

    Last week: 2-2
    Total: 23-9

    On Deck: Tappa Kegga Brew
    Record: 6-1     History: 0-0     6pm
    AWOL: Ron (None), Connie (None), Courtney (Shannon)

    The like tap above, this team can pour it on in many different ways.

    Few of us stayed in the heat to scout Warriors for weaknesses and Kappa for dangers. Here's what we saw along with Lee's notes from Plan B's game:

    They have a couple of guys (the two at the beginning of their lineup) that can hit to all parts of the field. Leadoff hitter can hit the fence so play the track on him. Their girls can hit, not with power but can get the ball over the infield.

    Their center fielders are a little weak defensively. The girl in right field can catch if it is hit to her (I flyed out to her twice). Their shortstop is really good, he's a play maker. The pitchers throws mostly a reverse spin.

    It's always a good idea to protect your expensive tap from some vagabond or some merci-ruled opponent who is drinking at your party.

    Big Pregame
    We have the field to practice in the heat. No later than 5:40pm for this playoff. MUST BRING YOUR ID TO PLAY. 5:30pm if you want extra infield practice.

    Big Postgame
    If we win, we sit around and wait to play in the championship.

    Latest: News & Injuries      
    Team award voting
    Jun 30th  - Review and re-live S7 fun... or skip the review and vote now

    League champion shirts
    Jun 29th  - We were awarded shirts to shrink in honor of our top finish for the regular season.

    The 3X shirt will be donated to Greenfield Junior High for kids who were inappropriate clothing.

    Pitcher Band-Aid Trophy to remain with Pitchers over summer
    Jun 29th  - The Band-Aids were stunned in their first round, losing to the #7 seed 9-7. It's tough keeping a 20-run factory open week after week after week.

    This isn't the way the team hoped to keep the trophy but perhaps we can get some pictures over the summer of the team with the trophy.



    Three Games Decided By 3 Runs
    Congrats 1st Round Draft


    All three games tonight were won by one run. If it weren't for the blazing excitement, people would likely have noticed the inferno 115+ degree heat even more.

    #1 Empty Pitchers     21
    #8 Big Ballas               1

    #4 Tappa Kegga Brew   11
    #5 Warriors                       7


    #1 Empty Pitchers        12
    #4 Tappa Kegga Brew 11


    Championship Game
    #6 1st Round Draft 19
    #1 Empty Pitchers 18



    #7 Finish Strong     13
    #6 1st Round Draft 12

    #2 Band-Aids         8
    #7 Finish Strong   10

    #3 Butter Up              7
    #6 1st Round Draft   9

    Gone (sub): Ruthie (Melissa), Courtney (Amy), Ron (none), Connie (none)

    July 12th,'09 - 7 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 12, Tappa Kegga Brew 11

    TKB:   0   1   0   0   1   4   5 = 11
    EP:      4   0   3   0   2   2   1 = 12

    Box Scores
    Jason
    3-5, 2R
    Melissa
    2-5
    Andrew
    4-5, 2R, 1RBI
    Jami
    3-4, 2R, 2BB, 1 pu
    Jamie
    3-4, 2R, 1RBI
    Amber
    2-4, 2R, 1RBI
    Ted
    4-4, 2R, 3RBI
    Amy
    1-4
    Keith
    2-4, 4RBI
    Sarah
    0-4

    Notes:
    Ted's parents convinced some 1st Round Draft players to participate in a six-person wave and cheer us on.

    Andrew and Jamie tumbled onto the field to open a playoff game. This tradition began last tourney. Both were worried about injuring themselves and held off before the championship game.

    Semifinal Recap: Top Teams Tangle

    Empty Pitchers started the night with good karma by allowing TKB, the northwest field's champ, to use their SS not on the playoff roster. The blues knew their SS had played all season so we let him play - unlike when Ted had to sit during season five's playoffs.

    Amy grabbed RF, Melissa 3B and Jamie shuffled to LF. This alignment held them to 2 runs through five innings despite our opponent getting 11 runners on base. Most shots went up the middle or to left, where Jamie dove for four balls, coming up empty each time.

    The sun couldn't be distracted from focusing its rays on our game but Andrew kept converting key plays whether it was a shallow pop-up or a force at any base or plate.

    Both teams showed some rust at the plate from the week off and the 6pm heat. TKB showed why the won their league with a 6-1 record by scoring 9 runs in the final two innings to tie the game. Could the Pitchers avoid extra innings?

    Keith (bothered by a premonition in his head) and Sarah (used to only batting cages the past two months) were both unable to reach base bringing Jason up with two outs.

    Many miles away something flies above the surface of a dark Scottish lake. Jason and Melissa used their wings to leg out gritty singles. With Jason at 2B and Melissa on 1B, this season's MVP stepped to the plate, surveyed the field and tattoed a shot directly over the 1B's head. It was clear as it sailed over there would be be no chance catching Jason at home and EP secured its second straight trip to the championship.

    TKB is full of competitive yet fun players. They held up on a number of throws, partly to avoid wild throws but also for opposing player safety. Add them to the list of team's we enjoy playing.



    July 12th,'09 - 7 innings:
    1st Round Draft 13, Finish Strong 12

    The team chilled in the heat for an hour between games watching these two teams battle back and forth in a game that could have gone either way. The Empty Pitcher / Band-Aid trophy made an appearance, pouring clear liquids into water bottles.

    After comparing leg armor, team awards were announced - congrats to everyone:

    MVP:  Andrew Gattuso - Did he hit for the first Empty Pitcher triple crown (team leader in BA, HR and RBI)? Only you will know if you crunch all the posted numbers. After a day of reflection on his second MVP, tying Scott, Andrew stated "Everybody had a good season. I don't feel like I should have gotten any more credit than anyone else." Enjoy it, Gattuso. Apparently you deserved it.
    Most Improved Player:  Tie - Courtney Heckel and Jami Kupperman - In an informal polling, it was Courtney's improved plate booty shake and Jami's improved language when a ball force its way through her body's flesh that made these two rising stars.
    Most Sensitive Player:   Keith - Finishing second in voting this year was someone else.
    Co-Rookies of the season:  Amber, Connie and Ron - You were wide-eyed kids when you first showed and we could barely see your hands and legs in your oversized uniform. But by season's end, you were all vital competitors.
    Most Not Named Raoul:  Amber - And she knows why.



    July 12th,'09 - 8 innings:
    1st Round Draft 19, Empty Pitchers 18

    1RD:   1   0   5   4   1   4   2   2 = 19
    EP:      7   2   5   0   0   0   3   1 = 18

    Box Scores
    Jason
    3-6, 2R, 1RBI
    Melissa
    4-6, 4R, 2RBI
    Andrew
    1-3, 1R, 4RBI, HR
    Jami
    4-5, 2R, 2RBI
    Jamie
    4-5, 2R, 1RBI
    Amber
    3-5, 1R, 2RBI
    Ted
    2-5, 1R, 1RBI
    Amy
    4-5, 3R, 1RBI
    Keith
    0-5, 1R, Orbiting birdies
    Sarah
    4-5, 1R, 5RBI

    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    "You win some, you lose some and you forget most over time."

    Last week: 1-2
    Total: 24-11

    Elsewhere:
    GT Bombers win their tourney as Black Sox lose for second straight time in the championship.

    Notes:
    Team's newest Bat Boy (and future Empty Pitcher???) brings out the ladies!
    Anne-Marie and Jessica, two of EP's greatest veterans, made appearances for the championship game.

    Recap: Classic Beer Battle, Like Schlitz vs Pabst

    EP busted out of the gates hard, grabbing an early 9-1. But after three innings, three hours of heat, an eight run lead and a season's worth of knowledge that we are a great team, we may have taken our foot of the gas. Sports are more fun when they are competitive and we allowed 1st Round Draft to make the nightcap a fun one for all at the field.

    Three straight zeroes in our box score and only four runs the last five innings was the cause of our collapse but you couldn't fault our ladies. Melissa, Jami, Amy and Sarah all had four hits while Amber chipped in three. Sarah must have thought their pitcher was a batting cage machine because she clubbed every shot that game. Amy improved to 7-9 lifetime against 1st Round Draft.

    Neither team gave up many defensive errors. Jami made a couple huge catches at 1B while Melissa scooped everything that wasn't a fast roller directly over the bag.

    In the 5th inning with one down and Keith on 1st, the game took a turn nobody likes to see - an injury. Sarah's only non-hit was a grounder to the SS, who scooped the ball, stepped on second and made the throw to 1B. However, Keith's melon was where the SS's arm came down, knocking Keith to the ground.

    The field official examined Keith, asked him several questions on politics, general relativity and the meaning of Raoul, which led to her determining he had a concussion and would need to come out of the game.

    The umpires ruled Keith had obstructed the wild throw to first, calling Sarah out to end the inning. To take something positive for the future from this game: don't risk injuries breaking up throws to 1B or coming into a base. Best to be out rather than hurt for days or weeks afterwards. Slide only if you truly know what you're doing - the Band-Aid's Charles broke his ankle two weeks ago sliding.

    Emailing this site's editor yesterday was our SS, Coach Buttertuso, who wrote:

    "I think that SS was a little too fired up for that whole play. I probably would have made the throw to 1B also. In order to get the obstruction call from the ump, you have to make the throw. He didn't do anything wrong, but I went and talked to him while you were all tending to Keith. He seemed pretty indifferent about Keith being injured. I think I would have shown a bit more class than that. He did say something like "I like playing you guys, I don't want to hurt anybody", but it just didn't seem that sincere. I did notice the guy on their team with the leg brace helping out tending to Keith though."

    "I didn't see the play so I can't really comment, but my guess is that Keith ducked slightly (but he's also tall) to avoid the throw and caught the guys shoulder in his ear as he ran over 2B and followed through with his throw. The SS was also probably trying to protect himself, so it may have looked like he intentionally put his shoulder into him."

    The team played with nine the remainder of the game and 1st Round Draft, while grabbing the lead, wasn't able to expose our depleted OF. Down three in the bottom of the seventh and out of time, Jamie, Amber and Ted all delivered big two out hits to tie the game.

    Unfortunately, the magic ran out in extra innings but it was an exciting end to our greatest season to date. 1st Round Draft jumped around the field as they recorded the final out to celebrate their first tournament championship.

    Our team hung around long after everyone else had left, mostly to hang with Keith until Anna arrived to drive him to the hospital. Keith did not require surgeries like Ryan "The Big O" Ozias.

    Championship Level Injuries

    Keith's bloody, torn-up ear

    Keith's skinned knee

    Ted's ripped thumbnail

    Keith update: "I got some cool souvenirs from the hospital, including wayyy too much Vicodin, fancy bracelets (in lieu of a championship ring), and some sweet headgear. I didn't get to bring home the CAT scan I got to enjoy, though."

    "Walking is far too difficult to do for a long period of time, I'm constantly hungry, yet I can't seem to eat as much as I think I want, and my ear is a lovely shade of purple. No ringing, though, and apparently no brain bruising or permanent damage."

    "As soon as I can drive again, I'm going out to Big 5 and getting a batting helmet and then to Michael's to get a pterodactyl sticker.... I'm going to be out for about 4-5 days, the doctor tells me."

    "The last thing I remember was wincing and turning my head at the last second. Don't recall the hit or falling to the ground. I kinda remember being questioned. Definitely don't know how my body got from the ground to the bench, or who took my place in the field. It's very disconcerting to have holes in your memory.... I can't thank everyone enough for their help & concern. I love this team because we do that. "




    Final Regular Season Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    6-1  (  19 / 9   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    6-1  (  18 / 8 )    
    6-1  (  ? / ? )    
    Tappa Kegga Brew
    5-2  (  17 / 13 )    
    Butter Up
    4-3  (  14 / 13 )    
    Warriors
    3-4  (  14 / 17 )  
    1st Round Draft
    2-5  (    9 / 12 )    
    Finish Strong
    1-6  (    9 / 16 )    
    Big Ballas
    1-6  (    5 / 16 )  
    High Rollers

    Season Summary     

    Checklist - complete at least three
  • Avg 15+ runs scored/game
  • Avg less than 10 runs allowed/game
  • Beat Band-Aids - win trophy
  • Beat Plan B
  • Break bread / drink pitchers
  • Solve question of Raoul
  • Two hrs of team charity work
  • First place regular seaon
  • Win tournament
  • Undefeated season
  • Season Eight?     

    Will the team stay intact or go out like Rocky Balboa? If you saw the last Rocky movie, he's pursuing the neighborhood lolita from the first movie who was at least ten years younger. The best part of this 6th movie? It's pretends the 5th movie never happens.

    Sounds like everyone plans to return which is great news. With Amy, Melissa and Justin we have solid subs and we may introduce a few new guy subs at the scrimmages.

    It's anticipated the season will start Sept 13th.

    We will likely schedule double-header scrimmages on Sun Aug 30th - make it a point to be there. We can probably bypass practice this offseason but hit some cages periodically.

    There may be a player housewarming party in the upcoming weeks.

    Great job everyone!


    Band-Aids
    L 4-16 @ Empty
    W 17-16 Butter
    W 13-11 War
    W 20-7 Balls
    W 20-7 @ Strong
    W 22-2 High
    W 26-0 @ Round

    124
    59
    +65
    FinStrng
    W 10-9 Balls
    L 7-11 Empty
    W 10-2 @ High
    L 9-20 War
    L 7-20 Band
    L 11-12 @ Round
    L 11-12 @ Butter

    64
    87
    -23
    BigBallas
    L 9-10 @ Strong
    L 10-26 Round
    L 3-23 @ Empty
    L 7-20 Band
    L 2-14 Butter
    L 8-22 War
    W 21-1 High

    61
    115
    -54
    1stRdDft
    L 11-12 @ High
    W 26-10 @ Balls
    L 14-21 Butter
    L 20-28 Empty
    W 13-9 @ War
    W 12-11 Strong
    L 0-26 Band

    96
    109
    -21
    HighRollers
    W 12-11 v Round
    L 10-14 @ War
    L 2-10 Strong
    L 8-13 Butter
    L 0-16 @ Empty
    L 2-24 @ Band
    L 1-21 @ Balls

    35
    109
    -74
    Butter Up
    W 26-8 @ War
    L 16-17 Band
    W 21-14 @ Round
    W 13-8 @ High
    W 14-2 Balls
    L 14-27 Empty
    L 11-12 Strong

    116
    88
    +28
    Warriors
    L 8-26 v Butter
    W 14-10 High
    L 11-13 @ Band
    W 20-9 @ Strong
    L 9-13 Round
    W 22-8 @ Balls
    W 14-12 @ Empty

    98
    91
    +7

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