Empty Pitchers






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Additions: None
Departures: None
How could we forget?: Amy, Brian, Christine, Marlee, Melissa, Natalie and Sherry

Schedule - DSE
Sept 13
W 10-7
@ Saki Bombers
Sept 20
W 15-12
Tappa Kegga Brew
Sept 27
L 9-8
@ Warriors
Oct 4
W 10-6
@ 1st Round Draft
Oct 11
L 13-12
@ Band-Aids
Oct 18
W 8-6
Plan B
Oct 25
W 7-0
Collegetown
Playoffs Start
Nov 1
L 12-13
Plan B
Regular Season Standings
 (Avg Runs For/Against)

6-1    
15
/ 12
5-2
Empty Pitchers
11
/ 9
4-3
Collegetown
12
/ 8
4-3
Tappa Kegga Brew    
13
/ 10
4-3
Warriors
11
/ 12
2-5
1st Round Draft
8
/ 11
2-5
Plan B
8
/ 14
1-5
Saki Bombers
11
/ 14

Season Awards
MVP: Jason
Most Improved Player (must have one full season):
Sarah
Asst GM Award: Keith
Most Sensitive Player: Keith
Co-Rookies of the season: None
Most Not Named Raoul: Ted

Checklist - complete at least three
  • Avg 15+ runs scored/game
  • Avg less than 10 runs allowed/game
  • Beat Band-Aids - win trophy
  • Beat Plan B
  • Break bread / drink pitchers
  • Solve question of Raoul
  • Two hrs of team charity work
  • First place regular seaon
  • Win tournament
  • Undefeated season

  • #1 The Band-Aids ( 6-1 )  16
    #8 Saki Bombers ( 1-6 )  17

    #4 Tappa Kegga Brew ( 4-3 )  8
    #5 Warriors ( 4-3 )  14
    #8 Saki Bombers  4
    #5 Warriors  8

    Championship Game
    #5 Warriors 7
    #3 Collegetown 0

    #3 Collegetown  10
    #7 Plan B  6
    #2 Empty Pitchers ( 5-2 )  11
    #7 Plan B ( 2-5 ) 12

    #3 Collegetown ( 4-3 )  13
    #6 1st Round Draft ( 2-5 ) 8


    Preview: The Ocho

    Eight seasons with the team means you've played just under three years with the Empty Pitchers. It doesn't mean you've devoted too much of your life to softball.

    We meet again

    This season could prove to be our toughest yet. The southeast and northeast fields at Dawson are reserved for Tempe's top teams and that's where we've landed.

    We have played all but Collegetown in prior seasons and have winning records against only Saki Bombers (last season's SW field champs) and Tappa Kegga Brew (last season's NW field champs).

    We have the chance to take the series lead versus Plan B and 1st Round Draft (both 1-1) and narrow the gap between us and The Band-Aids (1-3). We also have an opportunity to avenge our perfect-season loss to the Warriors, who hold the only victory between our teams. This and other information can be found in an almanac.

    New teammates     

    None - our entire team returns this season unless you start attempting this. Sarah promises less travel.

    With no new players we shouldn't have to review basics but with unlimited writing space here it goes: outfielders always hit cutoffs, the pitcher should be telling the cutoff where to throw, cutoffs avoid throws home to prevent baserunners advancing / losing forceouts, and lastly at the plate, hits not homers!

    Stay on target

    Wins and losses mean nothing without shenanigans. Don't play like a mercenary. Keep it fun, don't beat yourself on your way home with individual performances. That's the task of this website.

    Mark calendars for both pre-game drinks with Plan B before our 9pm game and post-6pm game drinks without our opponents in the 2nd and 3rd weeks. Like scrimmages, attendance is mandatory to at least half and EP rounds up so plan on breaking bread at two activities. Season seven's pop-up dollars will be collected and used Sept 20th.

    Stories of scrimmages

    Plan B only had a couple players show for our first scrimmage weekend so they joined EP to play a new team joining Tempe softball - a bunch of young guys who were cranking the ball everywhere. Not many of their girls showed but the team played in a college rec league the past few seasons. Could they have been Collegetown?

    Band-Aids brought the music and both teams brought the beer the following Sunday. Everyone was given a chance to bat in the 1st inning, and after playing normal 2nd inning we challenged each other to see who could score the most runs in the 3rd inning. The losing team had to fill the EP-BandAid Trophy and finish it before it could be set down. Band-Aids won 5-4 and our team proudly defended its team name by emptying the pitcher in less than two minutes.


    Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    Collegetown
    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    Empty Pitchers
    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    Warriors
    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    1st Round Draft
    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    Plan B
    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    Saki Bombers
    0-0  (  0 / 0   )    
    Tappa Kegga Brew

    This Week's Games

    Band-Aids @ Plan B
    Will additional security be present for this game? Apparently the ban on these two teams playing again has been lifted.

    Tappa Kegga Brew @ Collegetown
    The new team against a season champ. Life won't get easier after this indoctrination. Welcome to the real world, Collegetown.

    1st Round Draft @ Warriors
    Last season's tourney champ vs last season's most underrated team. Warriors start the season with the equivalent of a pub crawl, putting themselves in front of Saki Bombers, Empty Pitchers and Tappa Kegga Brew the next three weeks.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "Plan Aids trumps Plan B's while Tappa keggas College. Pitchers inevitably submerse and slam Saki as the Warriors get the steal of the Draft in the later innings."


    News & Notes

    Birthday Wishes
    9/8 - To Connie and Courtney this past Sunday and past Tuesday respectively.

    Congrats
    9/8 - To Sarah's mom for finding the hidden urban dictionary pterodactyl link.

    Swing Away, Sister
    9/8 - Our bat girl, Alyssa (Jason's daughter), plays her first league softball game tonight.

    Injuries
    9/8 - Andrew's shoulder and Jamie's back looked good, we'll keep an eye on Courtney's knee, keep an eye away from Amy's leg, Ruthie is de-bugged, Ted is de-rusted and Jason's goatee is fully rehabilitated.

    Charles of the Band-Aids has recovered from his broken ankle and back in his yellow socks.

    On Deck: Saki Bombers
    0-0    8 pm - Away

    History:
    Season 6 - W 12-6
    Season 6 - W 14-13

    AWOL: None ( ),

    Saki Bombers may as well be known as "Ruthie's Team". In both games, with a mountain of D-League Tempe softball pressure on her, she delivered clutch hits to secure victories for the team. Will she have the opportunity for the three-peat?

    (Above: Rice field art)  Sake, or saki, the national drink of Japan, is basically rice wine. In the 3rd century villagers made 'kuchikami no sake', or 'chew in the mouth sake'. This consisted of people chewing millet in there mouths and spitting it into a tub to ferment.

    During wartime rice shortages alcohol and glucose were added to the rice mash, thus greatly increasing the yield. In fact as it was such a cool idea, 95% of the sake made today uses a similar method. The snobs of this world still consider the best saki is still made with just rice, koji rice and water.

    Scouted:The Saki RC outfielder catches everything. Their 1B is a good fielder so hit around or over her... 3B and LF are the strongest parts of their defense. LF flashed tough leather... The Bombers don't make many extra throws (smartly?) so teams may want to try running bases aggressively against 'em (which Ron does against every team)... Their pitcher likes to pitch from a few behind the front rubber, meaning pitches take an extra second to arrive which can throw your timing off. He likes to pitch inside.

    Pre Gameplan: Sunday is the first full day of NFL football. Please stay sober enough to drive over to the fields.

    Gameplan: Be at the field by 7:30pm to warm up and swing bats. If you haven't hit a scrimmage make sure you hit a batting cage before Sunday.


    Recap: Sashimi'ed
    Sept 13th,'09 - 6 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 10, Saki Bombers 7

    EP:    3   0   0   1   6   0   = 10
    SB:    1   0   4   0   2   0   = 7

    Before the sashimi'ing, the team opened season eight pinto'ing, taking a batting coach's advice to warm up swinging at soft-tossed pinto beans. Pinto swingers averaged one hit more this game than those who didn't.

    Jason, averaging one walk/game, started off the season walking the first batter, who would score the only round allowed by EP in the first two innings. But Jason refused to let this stat be ruined, walking none the remainder of the game. Jason rarely put himself in 3-1 or 3-2 pitching counts and only once was a pitch crushed, which Ted snagged like a pterodactyl chasing an Archaeopteryx mid-air.

    Saki Scouting was spot on. Dusty, their tiny firstbasewoman, ripped from the sky a potential triple from Jamie while their outfielders rolled and stole several liners to the outfield.

    Both teams played similar ball: no big errors and scoring with singles and doubles. Ron bumped Jamie into utility and took 3B. He, Andrew and Saki's left side were vacuumous with grounders. The difference came in the throws to 1B. Two low throws got past Dusty while Jami barely moved her glove after sticking it out there as a target. Don't expect that every week, Madame Kupperman.

    Once again, Ruthie came to bat in the final inning of a game against the Saki Bombers. This time, there was no mountain of pressure but a medial morraine.

    With the team clinging to an apparent 2-run lead (*** Monday morning we discovered someone forgot to fill in Sarah's run, showing no respect for those at the bottom of the score sheet), Ted stood at first with two outs. With the actions of diva without the bright lights, big stage and all, she was unable to duplicate her previous at-bat's crushing shot to the outfield. The Pitchers would need to win for the first time against the Saki Bombers in bottom of the inning in the field.

    Still thinking they were clinging to a 9-7 two run lead, Jason induced an infield pop up from the first batter to ease some pressure, but here came the Kobe beef of the order. Four batters later, they had two runners on with two outs. Grabbing dust and tossing it in the direction of the batter's eyes, the final out landed in Keith's mitt after soaring into the starry sky above before hitting a pterodactyl and falling back to earth.

    Notes: Stretching back to the fourth inning of the championship game, over the past 11 innings EP has scored only 14 runs; our team last season averaged 3.5 runs/inning... Sweet swinging: only Courtney reached base all three times tonight - pinto perfection; while batting averages were down, everyone had one well-hit ball to the OF... Late in the game Jason pitched out of a 3-1 count against a guy batter who let a perfect pitch splatter for a strike; an inning later in Ruthie's and team's final at-bat with a 3-1 count, in the spirit of D-League she swung at a great pitch... neither reached base but the softball gods awarded EP the victory.

    Scouted: None of the Saki hatters have deep power. EP played too deep in RF and LF at times.


    About the stats below: Have fun at the plate. Do not focus on your numbers. If an individual can contribute in two of three areas: defense, dugout attitude or offense, the team should have a good chance to win while we have fun. Everybody slumps, everyone gets hot. Don't get excited by the numbers.

    Box Scores
    Jason
    2-3, 2R, 1RBI
    Connie
    2-3, 2R, 1RBI
    Andrew
    2-2, 2R, 1RBI, sac
    Courtney
    3-3, 1R,1RBI
    Jamie
    1-3, 2RBIs
    Jami
    1-3, 1RBI
    Ted
    2-3, 1RBI
    Amber
    0-3, mashing
    Keith
    1-3, 1R, pu
    Ruthie
    1-3, 1R
    Ron
    1-2, 1R, RBI
    Sarah
    1-2, 1R, RBI

    Key: Walks are counted as hits, fielders choices are outs,
    pu = stinky pop up



    Sunday Scores     

    Band-Aids 23, Plan B 1
    Collegetown 8, Tappa Kegga 6
    EP 10, Saki Bombers 7
    Warriors 11, 1st Rd Draft 10

    Elsewhere
    Where's Home 24, AZ Devils 23
    FR RamRod 16, Like We Care 6
    Donkey Fire 13, Black Sox 7
    Blackout Billy's 10, Annexation of Puerto Rico 6


    Standings     
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    1-0    
    23
    / 1
    1-0
    Empty Pitchers
    10
    / 7
    1-0
    Collegetown
    8
    / 6
    1-0
    Warriors
    11
    / 10
    0-1
    1st Round Draft
    10
    / 11
    0-1
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    6
    / 8
    0-1
    Saki Bombers
    7
    / 10
    0-1
    Plan B
    1
    / 23



    Upcoming 

    Warriors @ Saki Bombers
    Warriors and bombs make pacifists shriek, but nothin's as loud as the sound from Ptack's beak.

    Collegetown @ Plan B
    Plan B to college is busting your ass, with luck and hard work the scholars you'll pass.

    1stRdDrft @ Band-Aids
    While a game full of sluggers causes records to fall, pitchers are ordered at our bar's last call.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "A mountain wind carries song of Warriors toasting Pitchers with Academics. Or is that the kids rehearsing on the neighboring mountain?"
    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 27-12

    On Deck:
    Tappa Kegga Brew
    0-1    6 pm - Home

    This season:
    L 6-8 Collegetown

    All-time vs opponent: 1-0
    W 12-11 Season 7

    AWOL: None

    Before a pitcher may be emptied, a keg must be tapped. Know your basic taps.

    "D" system keg tap is the most common system available in the US, also known as American Sankey. It is used by all the major breweries - Anheuser-Busch, Miller, Molson-Coors, and Labatt as well as most craft breweries.

    "S" system keg taps are used by many European breweries, also known as European Sankey. It has a longer, narrower probe than the D system keg tap. It is used by breweries such as Heineken, Becks, Amstel Light and Pilsner Urquell.

    Tappa Kegga is probably not happy losing to the new kids on the block and surely aren't looking to fall to 0-2 after getting bumped to a higher level division. Stay loose but stay focused at the plate. Listen to your basecoaches.

    Scouting: TKB is full of competitive yet fun players. They held up on a number of throws, partly to avoid wild throws but also for opposing player safety. Offensively they sent most shots went up the middle or to shallow left field.

    Gameplan: We're in the field first so if we arrive at 5:30pm we can practice on the field. If you wish to swing at pinto beans, use the grass between fields. Food/drinks afterwards at place TBD.


    Latest: News & Injuries      


    Batgirl's Debut  
    Sept 14th   - Alyssa reached base three times and scored twice to help her team to an season opening win. Congrats!

    Pteradactyl Traffic:
    Sept 14th   - There are seven different pterodactyl shots at the top of the page.

    Season Dues:
    Sept 14th   - If you haven't paid Jamie $33 yet, bring it this week.

    Season 7 Pop Up Dues Due:
    Sept 14th   Bring this amount Sunday in cash to be used post-game.
    $5 Platinum Level: Jamie
    $4 Gold Level: Amber, Keith
    $3 Silver Level: none
    $2 Bronze Level: Jami, Ruthie
    $1 Cobalt Level: Courtney, Ron, Ted

    Scorekeeping Notes
    Sept 14th   - In addition to properly tracking runs scored... here is the gist for notation to help me with the recaps:

  • If someone gets on-base, indicate if it was a single, double or triple by putting a dot in the middle of the line leading to the base reached.
  • RBI: List the number of RBIs knocked in ex: 2RBI
  • BB: Walk
  • SAC: Fly ball caught but runner at 3B tagged up to score
  • FC: Batter reachs but baserunner is forced out at 2B or 3B
  • K: Strikeout
  • pu: Pop up
  • E#: Error. P:1, C:2, 1B:3, 2B:4, 3B:5, SS:6, LF-RF: 7, 8, 9 & 10. Example: E6 is an throwing or fielding error by SS.


  • Recap: She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
    Sept 20th,'09 - 7 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 15, Tappa Kegga Brew 12

    TKB:   2   0   5   0   0    2   3   = 12
      EP:   3   0   2   0   0   10   x   = 15

    AWOL: Keith, Amber

    Jumping to the biggest part of the game: Sarah had another great looking hit for the second consecutive week.

    Should you reach this paragraph and have yet to see any mention of Sarah, refer to the previous paragraph.

    The writer has yet been born who could capture her hit's magnificence as the ball's trajectory caused measureable friction with the air to the naked eye. It's a wonder the outfielder could pick up the ball barehanded without burning some flesh.

    Should this paragraph be reached without having read a mention of Sarah, please refer to the previous paragraphs.

    Ted's first Kevin Mitchell Award didn't go to Andrew, who raced backwards towards Courtney and made an outstretched bare-handed catch. The award went to Sarah, not for her play behind the plate nor her other two hits, but the aforementioned hitting performance.

    During the big rally inning, Amy entered EP halls of injury lore hurting her ankle half-running/half-sliding into thirdbase. The injury would have felt much worse had visions of Sarah's hit not numbed Amy's pain.

    Notes: Stretching back to the fourth inning of the championship game through last night's 5th inning, over 16 innings EP scored only 19 runs; in the 6th inning EP scored 10 runs... Pinto-less perfection: Sarah went 3-3; everyone crushed one ball to the OF for the second consecutive week... one walk for Jason; two 6-4-3 double-plays via Andrew, Connie and Jami; ,

    Scouted: Girls at the top of the order kept placing shots over SS. Only two or three balls went to the right side of the field. Solid SS, pitcher tosses with backspin, every spot is solid defensively but our OF had a dull night.

    Tilted Pitchers:   Amy, Andrew, Courtney, Jami, Jamie, Jason, Ruthie, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Ted knocked back a pitcher from Ptack's Pop-up Pot, enjoyed some Guiness and wolfed down salads, burgers and nachos as the Giants spoiled Ron's $1.5B stadium inauguration.


    Box Scores
    Jason
    2-4, R, pu
    Courtney
    3-4, 2R, RBI
    Andrew
    2-4, 3R, 3RBI
    Connie
    3-4, 2R, 3RBI
    Ron
    2-4, R, 3RBI
    Jami
    2-4, R, RBI
    Ted
    2-4, 2R, 2RBI, HR
    Ruthie
    3-4, R
    Jamie
    1-3, R, pu
    Sarah
    3-3, R, RBI
    Amy
    1-3, RBI

    Sunday Scores     
    12 ain't enough...

    EP 15, Tappa Kegga 12
    Warriors 17, Saki B's 12
    Plan B 13, Collegetown 12
    Band-Aids 14, 1st Rd Drft 12

    Elsewhere
    No Tan Lines 28, GT Bombers 10
    Finger Puppet Mafia 17, CPA's 3
    EOS 5, Mike Vicks Woof Pack 1
    Nothing Clever 11, Annexation of Puerto Rico 10


    Season Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    2-0    
    19
    / 7
    2-0
    Warriors
    14
    / 11
    2-0
    Empty Pitchers
    13
    / 10
    1-1
    Collegetown
    10
    / 10
    1-1
    Plan B
    7
    / 18
    0-2
    1st Round Draft
    11
    / 13
    0-2
    Saki Bombers
    10
    / 14
    0-2
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    9
    / 12



    How tough is our division? Last season's SE and NE regular season champs and SW tourney champ are a combined 0-6.

    This Week's Games

    Plan B @ 1st Round Draft
    Four things we hope to learn from this game: Who is Plan B?   Where is 1st Round Draft?   What is Plan B?   When is 1st Round Draft?

    Saki Bombers @ Collegetown
    One thing Saki and College both respect is Sarah's smash potential, referencing both this past Sunday and the previous Sunday.

    Band-Aids @ Tappa Kegga Brew
    Last season's NW field season champ faces an almost certain 0-3 start.. which could be bad news for a high playoff seed.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "Monks do not preach revenge. EP disobeys the monk. Monks do not preach heavy boozing. 1st Rd Drft disobeys the monk. Saki Bombers disobeys the monk. Band-Aids obeys the monk."
    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 30-13

    On Deck: Warriors
    0-1    6 pm - Home

    This season:
    W 11-10 vs 1st Rd Draft
    W 17-12 vs Saki Bombers

    All-time vs opponent: 0-1
    L 14-12 Season 7

    AWOL: Ron, Connie, Sarah (Amy/Marlee)

    Last season, the Warriors broke our perfect record in our regular season finale after EP jumped out to a 7-0 first inning lead.

    The Warrior hitters kept getting hotter as the game progressed. They never lost their cool, never got cocky but built on their mid-game success.

    Meanwhile, almost every Pitcher player had two errors in the field. Hopefully wild plays were exorcised from our psyches this past Sunday against Tappa Kegga Brew, in which throws hit our intended targets roughly 47.3% of the time, allowing runners to advance.

    In addition to great achievements in art, architecture, astronomy and written language, the Maya also had a warrior culture which evolved over time. Initially, the Maya fought in small groups for the purpose of capturing prisoners to be used as human sacrifices to the gods. The Maya's preferred form of sacrifice was to decapitate their victims. Later, the purpose of Maya warfare shifted to conquest, with one city-state fighting another for territory and power. However, even as Maya wars became broader and more brutal, the capture and sacrifice of prisoners remained a key part of the culture.

    When it came to weapons, the Maya were a stone-age culture and had no metal-working technology (hence no aluminum bats). Their arsenal included stone axes, wooden clubs, atlatls (dart-throwers), spears and lances with obsidian blades. They also used shields made of wood and hide and for added protection wore short vests or jackets made of quilted cotton. For speed they used softball and soccer cleats.

    Around 800 A.D, unknown invaders attacked the Maya trade center Cancuen and massacred the royal family. The bloody battle represented a shift in Maya warfare, which was previously about sacrifice and conquest, to annihilation. Some historians believe the battle contributed to the mysterious downfall and disappearance of this powerful pre-Columbian warrior society.

    Scouting: Their left side is stronger than right side of their defense. All their women have power to put it hard on the ground or over the infield. Their female wearing #2 goes opposite field. The Warrior pitcher had excellent control working both the inside and outside of the plate, getting EP to chase pitches leading to six popups.

    Gameplan: We bat first. We will bring pinto beans for pregame. Food/drinks afterwards at place TBD.




    Latest: News & Injuries      
    Things Heard Post-Game on the Bleachers  
    Sept 21st   -
    Sarah: I don't recall seeing my name in the previous games's recap...
    Andrew: Somehow we won with one monster inning with our bats (even though Jason and I were making out)...

    Recap: Waxed By A Warrior
    Sept 27th,'09 - 7 innings:
    Warriors 9, Empty Pitchers 8

       EP:   2   0   2   0   3   0   1  = 8
    War:   0   0   4   1   3   1   x   = 9

    AWOL: Ron (Brian) , Connie (Christine) , Amber (Natalie) , Ruthie, Ted

    There's a nomination for creepiest recap headline. Once more the Warriors have ruined the Pitchers perfect season as three teams entered the weekend 2-0 and only one team remained loss-less. Last season they did it in our final game of the season, this year we got the procedure done with quick and early.

    The Warriors once again showed why they are a formidable team with solid defense and just enough offense to grab a victory. While losing is never fun unless the loser is rewarded with beer, ice cream or both, the team had the opportunity to acclimate three new subs... and drink beer.

    Natalie and Christine, pictured above, hit the ball as hard as anyone on Sunday and could easily have been 3-4 if the Warriors weren't statue'd in the right spots. Natalie had played with us once before but it was so long ago you won't find a reference in our team history - and that's the last time she played.

    Keith led the offensive charge in the 5 spot with a 4-4 performance with Courtney showing the ladies how it's done with three shots over the infield for a 3-4 performance and three runs scored.

    Behind the scenes while these fine plate performances were occuring, working inside the dugout Amy did the best job yet of scoresheet notation, making the following day process hardly a chore.

    Where were they? Ron and Connie were in Vegas. Ruthie got great free seats for the big Sunday night NFL game. Amber's knee didn't have parasites but something equally tramatic. Ted was playing volleyball in the sand and strummin' his guitar for his fans. Remember when we were a nuclear family? Those were the Sundays.

    Notes: Web gem of the game came from Brian who fired a ball from LC to 3B to get the force out; Jason walked no batters which statistically has meant his team loses, so let's walk one next time J... Sarah's hit this week was more magnificent than last week but what words could describe it?

    Scouted: The female wearing #2 can hit to either part of the field while their pitcher tosses a spinning pitch. Their RC was unable to stop a number of shots contributing to Andrew's HR.

    Tilted Pitchers:   Amy, Andrew, Courtney, Jami, Jamie, Jason, Brian and Sharon back pitchers as Payton Manning went bird hunting.


    Box Scores
    Jason
    2-4, 1R
    Courtney
    3-4, 3R
    Andrew
    2-3, 3R, 3RBI, HR, sac
    Jami
    1-4
    Keith
    4-4, 1R, 2RBI
    Natalie
    1-4, 2RBI
    Brian
    2-4, 1RBI
    Christine
    1-4
    Jamie
    1-3, 2pu
    Sarah
    1-3



    Sunday Scores     
    Warriors 9, EP 8
    1st Rd Drft 11, Plan B 10
    Collegetown 12, Saki B's 5
    TKB 17, Band-Aids 12

    Elsewhere
    GT Bombers 29, AZ Devils 16
    Softball Team 12, 1-800 Beer Now 11
    3 Up 3 Down 30, Honeywell Heat 9
    Master Batters 19, Sons of Pitches 12


    Season Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    3-0
    Warriors
    12
    / 10
    2-1    
    18
    / 10
    2-1
    Collegetown
    11
    / 8
    2-1
    Empty Pitchers
    11
    / 9
    1-2
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    12
    / 12
    1-2
    1st Round Draft
    11
    / 13
    1-2
    Plan B
    8
    / 15
    0-3
    Saki Bombers
    8
    / 13

    This Week's Games

    Warriors (3-0) @ Tappa Kegga Brew (1-2)
    Both teams are scoring 12 runs while Warriors hold a 10/12 edge defensively. Defense won't win this game. It'll be whichever gets hotter at the plate.

    Band-Aids (2-1) @ Collegetown (2-1)
    Coach Denny Green drops by: "We know who the Band-Aids are. But who are the Collegecrew? And what do we make of them beating The Tappas and Saki guys but falling to Plan B?"

    Plan B (1-2) @ Saki Bombers (0-3)
    Plan B's mantra: start slow, finish fast. Saki Bombers mantra: start slower, finish with a shellac'ing.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "My first 1-3 week of predictions does not faze me. I boldy predict Warriors, Pitchers, Band-Aids and Plan B along with a lottery ticket winning with numbers 6,7,23,33,36,41. "
    Last week: 1-3
    Total: 31-16

    Coach Denny Green picks:
    "I like the heart of a champion and Tappa Kegga last season was a champion. Gotta pick a tourney champion too so I'm pickin 1st Round. Sorry Pitcher fans. I'll take the Band-Aids cause they're fun and I 'spose one day I'll likely coach that team. And Saki Guys you'll get your first win in this tough division. "
    Last week: 0-0
    Total: 0-0


    News & Notes

    Pterodactyls on PTV  
    Sept 29th   - The season premier of House. That is all.
    On Deck: 1st Round Draft
       8pm - Away

    This season:
    L 10-11 Warriors
    L 12-14 Band-Aids
    W 11-10 vs Plan B

    All-time vs opponent: 1-1
    W 28-20 Season 7
    L 19-18 Season 7

    AWOL: None

    Oh how EP likes to toy with 1st Round in the early rounds. In our first matchup we jumped out to a 16-2 lead before winning 28-20. In the championship game we jumped out to a 14-6 lead before dropping a 19-18 thriller.

    Yes, when these two teams play, bats catch fire. Of course, the fires Tempe Sports Complex allows don't reach temperatures high enough to melt aluminum but hot bats will dent easier and lose their pop.

    As for pictures of bats, our hairy little mosquito-eating friends, flying around on fire - those pictures are difficult to find as bats typically don't like light and hence are rarely photographed near or on fire.

    "That's good news for me!"

    "I'm gonna make my picks too.

    Brews make me think of witches: Tappa Kegga.

    Old college student housing is where me and most of my friends live: Go Collegetown!

    If I was a hundred times bigger you'd think I was a pterodactyl: Empty Pitchers.

    Plan B sounds like a plan to exterminate me. Go Saki Bombers!"

    Last time these two teams tangled, not only dig Keith ding up his knee, rip his ear and suffer a concussion, Ted ripped a fingernail.

    EP trainers have refused to provide Tempe with an update on the fingernail, risking penalty of some sort from the head office. Ted has announced recently he will allow his fingernail to be photographed at some point this season.

    Scouting: In their win over Plan B the Draft went with an all-female left side and they have arms.

    Gameplan: We bat first. Dress warm - the sun will be down.













    Recap: Where The White (Hot) Bats At?
    OCt 4th,'09 - 6 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 10, 1st Round Draft 6

       EP:   3   2   0   0   5   0   = 10
    1RD:   1   1   1   0   0   3    = 6

    AWOL: , Courtney (Christine)

    In each of the two previous meetings between our teams, the losing team scored more runs than both teams scored combined this past Sunday. Prior to our game, only once the past two seasons has 1st Round Draft not scored at least 10 runs and that was in last season's regular finale against the Band-Aids in which they were walloped 26-0. Of course, three games later they held the tournament trophy as Keith held compresses to his head.

    Arriving at the field, Patches hopped out of the car and saw Jack playing beyond the SE field's fence in a grassy knoll. With Cleo in tow, Patches trotted off to say howdy to his bud.

    The three of them dragged their owners around the perimeter until the entered the complex from the east gate. When they reached the planter behind the bleachers, Patches counted "One, two, three, four... I don't know how to count past four because, well, I have only four legs and four toes on each paw."

    To help him out (a theme to be repeated later that night), Jack counted the other two and Cleo combined the numbers with an abacus to total six pups. Christine, subbing from Victorious Secret for the second straight week, was a little taken aback by the dugout dogs. But her dugout on Friday night's are filled with a half-dozen kids who would qualify for free meals on Tuesday nights at TGI Friday's.

    From his front lap seat, Patches offered this post-game recap on each player:

    Good thing Keith didn't remember what happened last time he came in hard to 2B against 1RD.
    Ron didn't remember what happened last time he tried to slide into 3B against 1st Rd Drft.
    I've never seen so many balls thrown to Connie for forces at 2B. I counted to four and then had to stop.
    With runners at 2nd and 3rd in the 5th inning, Andrew did a great job helping Ron with a grounder to end the inning.
    Amber has better depth perception than me catching towering flies in LF.
    Ted used the scientific method to test 1/2 the opposing OF's depth perception.
    I wish I was on 1B when Jami batted because I would have made it all the way around to give her 4 RBIs on the night.
    There are no words in dog speak to describe Sarah's tremendous hit.
    It was nice having Jamie in the dugout all game due to his bad paw and busted tail. This season: 1-3 every game.
    In two innings, Jason's first two pitches led to two quick outs. One walk for the night = win.
    Christine, do you know any nice bitches on Friday night you can introduce me to in Chandler?

    The men of the infield helped preserve the win as EP took the field with 4 minutes left in the bottom of the 6th. After recording a quick out, Andrew and Ron let a couple balls through their gloves to extend the inning. After four minutes and three runs, the team tightened up and grabbed the win.

    Notes: EP is now 2-1 alltime vs 1st Round Draft; perfection for Christine and Ron... Because Dallas lost to Denver, Ron had to remove his Dallas cap and wear Jason's spare Broncos hat the duration of the game.

    Scouted: All ladies in the infield except P and all have solid gloves and arms; two different pitchers who will work you long and short of the plate.


    Box Scores
    Ron
    3-3, 2R, 2RBI
    Connie
    1-2, 1R, 1RBI, sac
    Andrew
    2-3, 1R, 2RBI
    Amber
    1-3
    Jason
    2-3, 2R, 1RBI
    Jami
    1-2, 3RBI, sac
    Ted
    1-3, 1RBI
    Ruthie
    0-3, lack of cellphone signal
    Keith
    2-3, pu
    Sarah
    1-3, 1R, pu
    Jamie
    1-3 1R
    Christine
    2-2, 2R

    Sunday Scores     
    Tappa Kegga 13, Warriors 12
    Band-Aids 17, Collegetown 14
    EP 10, 1stRdDft 6
    Saki Bombers 15, Plan B 5

    Elsewhere
    The exchange rate for the Djibouti Franc to the Uganda Shilling on Oct 3, 2009 was 10.96655.


    Season Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    3-1    
    16
    / 12
    3-1
    Empty Pitchers
    11
    / 9
    3-1
    Warriors
    12
    / 11
    2-2
    Collegetown
    12
    / 10
    2-2
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    12
    / 12
    1-3
    1st Round Draft
    10
    / 11
    1-3
    Saki Bombers
    10
    / 11
    1-3
    Plan B
    7
    / 15


    This Week's Games

    1st Round Draft (1-3)
    @ Saki B's (1-3)

    The age-old, season-old theme of beer vs saki. Beer drowns saki so one would thing 1st Round wins. However, few seek the Japanese beers unless there is the power of saki.

    Tappa Kegga (2-2)
    @ Plan B (1-3)

    Tappa Kegga has averaged 15 runs the past two weeks. Plan B has scored more than ten only once. Just providing numbers for those in Vegas this week.

    Collegetown (2-2)
    @ Warriors (3-1)

    Not that D-League softball has critical games. If we weren't drinking from the Band-Aid pitcher around the corner, I'm sure we'd all be re-telling this game our grandkids on a rocker.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "Denny Green and a flying rat both go 3-1 as I go 2-2. A monk knows never to dwell in the past. That said, from what I've seen lately, I like the Draft, the Kegga, the Pitchers and the College. "
    Last week: 2-2
    Total: 33-18


    News & Notes

    Lee Lobs Lead to Lumps  
    Oct 3rd   - The biggest a softball team has: no pitcher available. Lee jumped to the mound and after a rough first few batters got Plan B out of the first giving up just three runs.

    Credit to anyone willing to pitch when it's a nasty spotlight, especially with a full moon out.

    Oink oink  
    Oct 4th   - Courtney missed the game Sunday night and visited Urgent Care the next morning. She has the H1N1 flu, more commonly known as the Swine Flu.

    Both she and Jamie are in quarantine for the week and their trip to visit Jamie's little nephews in Charlotte this weekend has been cancelled just to be safe (one of the triplets is just getting back from the hospital).

    If both are clear of symptoms and no longer contagious, they'll be playing as Courtney has NEVER faced the Band-Aids aside from two scrimmages. It's one of her dreams.

    Mid-Season Report  
    Oct 4th   - This is just space filler to balance the middle with the left and right columns.

    EP at the midway point leads the league in defense, allowing only 9 runs / game. This is the same mark as last year.

    Our offense has taken a slight decrease from 19 runs / game to 11 runs / game but unquestionably the defense is much tougher this season among all teams.

    Three teams last season averaged giving up 16+ runs / game. This season only one team is giving up only 12+ runs / game.

    The team has already been out drinking twice this season, not counting our beer-fest scrimmage with the Band-Aids in which the team finished a pitcher like a German glass boot.

    Pterodactyl rubbing seems to be down this season which could be connected to our decrease in offense. A special panel of Courtney and Ted will use the scientific method to determine any factual link.

    Only half the team is represented in pterodactyls at the top of the page. More pictures are needed of player faces. Keith sent our webmaster a fresh supply of pterodactyl jpeg's.

    On Deck: The Band-Aids
       7pm - Away

    This season:
    W 23-1 Plan B
    W 14-12 1st Round Draft
    L 12-17 Tappa Kegga Brew
    W 17-14 Collegetown

    All-time vs opponent: 1-3
    L 19-5 Season 3
    L 13-5 Season 4
    L 17-11 Season 5
    W 16-4 Season 7

    AWOL: Ruthie ( ? )

    The Pitcher-Aid Trophy is on the line once more. Each team has taken possession of the trophy once since its inception in Season 5.

    Keith and Ted did some scouting of the Collegetown - Band-Aids game this past Sunday preceding our game. What did they learn?

    You use more calories eating celery than there are in the celery itself.

    Most people use over 16,000 gallons of water in their lifetimes.

    It is estimated that at any one moment, 0.7% of the world’s population are drunk.

    When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour.

    At least 2 people die every year from vending machines falling on them.

    Odds of hitting a jackpot with a slot machine are 889 to 1.

    The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.

    Cat urine glows under a black-light!

    Vanna White has received over 3,500 written letters proposing to her.

    The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30ft.

    More than 2,500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products.

    The average life expectancy of an enemy soldier in a Chuck Norris film is 4 seconds.

    In Kentucky, 50 percent of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.

    Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.

    In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.

    Every person has a unique tongue print.

    Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.

    About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.

    You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather.

    Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

    Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.

    The average person is half an inch taller upon rising in the morning.

    A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at up to 600 m.p.h.

    Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.

    A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.

    In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones - Bhutan.

    Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

    The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.

    Bubble gum contains rubber.

    You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog.

    The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello.

    Most American car horns honk in the key of F.

    The world population of chickens is about equal to people.

    Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head.

    A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.

    It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

    Some toothpaste brands contain antifreeze.

    Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

    Only 55 percent of all Americans know that the sun is a star.

    Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the Western Pacific.

    Most lipstick contains fish scales.

    Mosquitoes have teeth.

    Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.

    When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.

    Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.

    Scouting: Play Noel at the warning track... all their girls can hit over the infield.

    Gameplan: Enjoy the music, have fun one and perhaps some drinking afterwards from the Pitcher with the Band-Aids for those willing to have one round.



    Recap: Big Hitters on The Bayou
    Oct 11th,'09 - 7 innings:
    The Band-Aids 13, Empty Pitchers 12

    EP:   2   0   8   2   0   0   0   = 12
    BA:   0   3   0   2   3   2  3     = 13

    AWOL: Sarah (Marlee)

    Three of the league's marquee hitters - The Band-Aids' Noel and his brother and EP's Sarah - all missed Sunday night's action but that didn't mean it was a bad ticket.

    How did the Band-Aids handle a nearly heartbreaking 12-3 early deficit in the best rivalry offered in Tempe?

    Good hitting and opportunity. With two on and one out in the 5th, Rob of the Band-Aids proved why RF can be the most difficult spot in the outfield.

    PSA to all RF's: More than half the balls landing hard in RF take a hard spin towards the foul line on the first hop. Amber got caught with a very wicked hop. Keith did a great job backing her up but alas the bases were cleared.

    Flashback: In the semifinal two seasons ago en route to our tourney championship, with EP down four runs in the final inning with the bases loaded and two outs, Jamie hit a "single" to right field which careened off the RF's glove after a wicked hop for the "grand slam". What comes around goes around.

    The next inning, Brian - their first baseman, cracked a shot deep to the track between Ted and Courtney for a leadoff, ankle-breaking homerun to close the gap to 12-9.

    Meanwhile, EP bats seem to have lost that killer edge - which is good for both teams but not good when it comes to losing a trophy. In the final inning, Jason delivered his first walk of the game, a one out walk which would become an out on the next play - a fielder's choice.

    With two outs and down two runs in the final inning, the bottom of the Band-Aids' order picked up the slack and led the charge that brought home the winning run.

    Notes: Andrew goes perfect at the plate; Jamie breaks his 1-3 streak; six popups tonight; our two losses this season have been by just one run; Ted's sister, Marlee, made her EP debut after being a fan in the stands for several games; Lauren emailed the GM post-game to thank us for a fun game and that they are "Glad to have the trophy back, at least for now" - can't argue with any of that.

    Scouted: Band-Aids hit the ball well though we may have played them a little deep in the OF at times. Amanda returned to Phoenix from Flagstaff as a guest pitcher.


    Box Scores
    Ron
    2-4. 2R
    Connie
    3-4, 1R, RBI
    Andrew
    4-4, 3R, RBI
    Amber
    2-4, 1R, 2RBI
    Jason
    3-4, 2R, RBI, pu
    Jami
    3-4, 1R, RBI
    Jamie
    2-4, 1R, 3RBI, 2pu
    Courtney
    1-4
    Ted
    1-3, 1R, 2RBI, pu
    Ruthie
    2-3
    Keith
    1-3, RBI, 2pu
    Marlee
    1-3



    Sunday Scores     

    1st Rnd Drft , Saki B (forfeit)
    Band-Aids 13, EP 12
    Plan B 13, Tappa Kegga 12
    Collegetown 13, Warriors 6

    Three teams are tied for second place. Toss out one lopsided opening game for Plan B and the teams this season are extremely evenly-matched looking at runs for/against.

    Any team could win the tournament this year. There may be no advantage to any particular playoff seeding.


    Season Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    4-1    
    15
    / 11
    3-2
    Collegetown
    12
    / 9
    3-2
    Empty Pitchers
    11
    / 9
    3-2
    Warriors
    11
    / 11
    2-3
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    12
    / 12
    2-3
    1st Round Draft
    10
    / 11
    2-3
    Plan B
    8
    / 15
    1-4
    Saki Bombers
    10
    / 11


    This Week's Games

    Collegetown (3-2)
    @ 1st Round Draft (2-3)

    Craziness in PA collegetown. Audio highlight: "Talk about rear-end damage"

    Saki Bombers (1-4)
    @ Tappa Kegga Brew (2-3)

    Last season's regular season champs from the western fields meet. Doubt it will help ticket sales.

    Warriors (3-2)
    @ Band-Aids (4-1)

    Last season the Band-Aids beat the Warriors 13-11. Likely means nothing this season.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "College, Kegga, Aids and Empty. "
    Last week: 2-2
    Total: 35-20


    News & Notes

    Andrew & Jessica's Party This Saturday  
    Oct 14th   - You were invited!

    Did your email block the Evite?

    This Saturday at 4pm. Quite a few people from the team are already confirmed.

    Email Jamie if you need directions to the Gattuso compound.

    Injuries  
    Oct 14th   - Ted's ankle as of Wednesday is wobbly.

    Courtney has beaten the swine flu and Jamie's knee is looking and smelling good, neither of which tells you how it is feeling.

    Free Agents  
    Oct 14th   - Amy, Connie, Jason and Ron go for the championship this Friday night in Chandler.

    Since Corbin Bernson's "Strike this motherf#$#er out!" doesn't quite feel right in softball... you get the old "You can do it!"

    On Deck: Plan B
    (2-3)    9pm - Home

    This season:
    L 1-23 Band-Aids
    W 13-12 Collegetown
    L 10-11 1st Round Draft
    L 5-15 Saki Bombers
    W 13-12 vs Tappa Kegga Brew

    All-time vs opponent: 1-1
    L 11-9 Season 5
    W 18-8 Season 6

    AWOL: Ruthie ( Marlee )

    As we have explored a variety of Plan B's in the past, this matchup we will explore "Plan Z".

    First, Sundance will soon be featuring Plan Z Productions.

    In WWII, Germany late in the war had their own Plan Z to to challenge the naval power of the United Kingdom.

    Of course, the Urban Dictionary has a Plan Z.

    And should you be absolutely bored at work: Trancecore Jack's Plan-Z defense against zombies.

    Scouting: Lee can crush the ball to the track and will go to all fields. As for the rest of Plan B, Josh and Ashley are now engaged so don't damage their rings. The rest of the team is new and apparently can mash the ball.

    Gameplan: Plan RFDF - Score lots of runs, have lots of fun, play great defense, let nothing to the fence.





    Recap: Plan M^2 + Plan Z  > Plan B
    Oct 18th,'09 - 6 innings:
    Empty Pitchers 8, Plan B 6

    PB:   2   0   1   1   2   0   = 6
    EP:   3   0   0   2   3   x    = 8

    AWOL: Ruthie (Marlee) , Amber (Melissa)

    Subs whose names began with the letter M weren't the only things the Pitchers were doubling up. Down a pair after half an inning, EP's first four hitters delivered dörd doubles ("dörd" defined as "four" in Azerbaijani Turkic speak) to grab the early lead over one of our oldest rivals.

    Plan Z called for a dose of the Zollman at the top of the order. Unfortunately, Keith didn't know moments before gametime the team removed from the Plan Z gameplan the "destroy pitcher" part.

    EP refused to allow Plan B to hold a lead after any inning was completed. In all but one inning, for every run Plan B would score, Empty Pitchers would score the same plus one in the bottom of the inning.

    Our outfield's corners had a relatively quiet night. The only real disturbance in the outfield was the vocal debate on where to play when Lee was at the plate.

    Webgems: Ted's great catch running back to the fence and Andrew's great job selling the baserunner at 2nd on the idea of running to 3rd. Unfortunately Jamie didn't swipe the glove at his feet and the runner slid underneath safely.

    Notes: The team locked up its sixth straight winning season Sunday and became bowl eligible; Pitcher Plate Precision: Keith and Connie 3-3; Jamie and Sarah struck out back-to-back; Jason tossed only three pitches in the second inning; Ms. Gattuso and Ms. Gattuso both viewed the game with Suede in an EP jersey while Marlee brought two fans as well.

    Scouted: The Plan B pitcher's head is made of granite; guys and girls are well-balanced and aggressive base-runners; team's captain likes grabbing drinks with the other team.


    Box Scores
    Keith
    3-3, 2R
    Connie
    3-3, 1R, 2RBI
    Andrew
    1-3, 2R, 2RBI
    Jami
    2-3, 1RBI
    Jason
    2-3, 1R, 1RBI
    Melissa
    2-3, 1R, 2BB
    Ron
    1-3, 2RBI
    Courtney
    1-2
    Ted
    0-2, new song in head
    Marlee
    1-2
    Jamie
    1-2, 1R
    Sarah
    0-2, speechless



    Sunday Scores     
    C-Town 12 , 1st Round 3
    Tappa Kegga 21, Saki 7
    Band-Aids 14, Warriors 13
    Empty Pitchers 8, Plan B 6


    Season Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    5-1    
    15
    / 12
    4-2
    Collegetown
    12
    / 8
    4-2
    Empty Pitchers
    11
    / 9
    3-3
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    14
    / 11
    3-3
    Warriors
    11
    / 12
    2-4
    1st Round Draft
    8
    / 11
    2-4
    Plan B
    8
    / 14
    1-5
    Saki Bombers
    9
    / 13


    This Week's Games

    Saki Bombers (1-5)
    @ Band-Aids (5-1)

    Band-Aids yesterday wrapped up the #1 seed in the playoffs. Saki B's may be playing their last game in this division this season.

    Plan B (2-4)
    @ Warriors (3-3)

    A loss to the Warriors could mean a rematch with The Band-Aids in the opening round.

    1st Round Draft (2-4)
    @ Tappa Kegga Brew (3-3)

    1st Round Draft ended last season 3-4 and won the tournament... by one run over the Empty Pitchers.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "Full inner peace. Band-Aids, Warriors, 1st Round and Pitchers. "
    Last week: 4-0
    Total: 39-20


    News & Notes

    Andrew & Jessica's Party Recap  
    Oct 18th   - Sangria and even more tasty sangria. Tasty meatballs. Tasty artichoke dip. Billiards, burning White Russian baby bottles, monster Jenga and other shenanigans highlighted the night.

    Injuries  
    Oct 14th   - This week Amber deals with the flu. Get better!

    Free Agents Tourney Recap  
    Oct 18th   - Courtney bangs out a game winning hit in the semifinal and then bangs her head in the final game as the Free Agents get caught in the later innings by a very hot hitting team.

    On Deck: Collegetown
    (4-2)    9pm - Home

    This season:
    W 8-6     Tappa Kegga Brew
    L 12-13   Plan B
    W 12-5   Saki Bombers
    L 14-17  Band-Aids
    W 13-6    Warriors
    W 12-3   1st Round Draft

    All-time vs opponent:
    First meeting

    AWOL:

    If we hold Collegetown to 13 runs or less, we will accomplish the team goal of allowing less than 10 runs/game.

    We've have already beaten Plan B and broken bread (not heads, Keith) and drank pitchers. We have two goals crossed off the list with one more to go.

    The only other goals we have a chance of achieving this season are winning the tournament and solving the question of Raoul. But who are we kidding? We know one of those is quite unlikely to happen.

    As you fall asleep at night, focus on the pterodactyl and the smooth swing of the wing for a base hit. Two hits for everyone this week!

    A win gives us second place by ourselves. A loss and it could be a Gattuso-like party in 3rd place with two other teams. Look for Cerveceros to be bumped up to our tourney from the NW field.

    Scouting: What we know about C-Town is their guys have power and their lineup is balanced.

    Gameplan: Plan RFDF - Score lots of runs, have lots of fun, play great defense, let nothing to the fence.



    This week's maze:

    The IRS is at Jupiter Huggybear's den. Help lead the IRS down as many wrong paths to give Jupiter time to come up with some money or get a good head start disappearing.



    Recap: Ruthie Makes Batting Practice
    Oct 25th,'09 - Forfeit:
    Empty Pitchers 7, Collegetown 0

    AWOL: Courtney (Sherry)

    At least the weather was nice. Ron stepped to the plate while Jason tossed warm-up pitches and began a practice our team hasn't seen in over three seasons: a practice with Ruthie in attendance.

    What was up with Andrew's crazy hook pitch?

    Its consistency was more amazing than his other pitches which indluded behind-the-back and through the legs.

    Jason worked a variety of curves and spinners during BP but our batters had little trouble giving our fielders good practice, as evidenced by our batting practice statistics below.

    Ted looked like someone who has studied from the outfield what to do from Andrew and Ron and what not to do from Jamie in the infield. He played like a vacuum. Look for Ted to get some action at 3B in the playoffs

    In addition to Ron tossing a few pitches, Sarah proved she is not only a menace at and behind the plate. Sarah tossed a few unhitable pitches (the two Andrew missed in the stats below), loosened up her arms at 2B and served as the 3 in the ol' 5-3 and 6-3 put-outs.

    Notes: Ron and Sarah also tossed a couple pitches each; Ron, Connie and Jami pulled off an incredible 6-4-3 double play to catch both speedy ghost runners, perhaps Tempe D-League's fastest ghost runners; post-practice Marlee brought Neopolitan ice cream sandwiches to help celebrate Ted's birthday.


    Box Scores
    Ron
    10-10
    Sarah
    11-11
    Andrew
    7-9
    Jami
    10-10
    Jamie
    10-10
    Sherry
    12-12
    Keith
    11-11
    Ruthie
    11-11
    Jason
    5-5
    Connie
    10-10
    Ted
    20-20

    Key: Walks are counted as hits, fielders choices are outs,
    pu = stinky pop up
    sac = sacrifice RBI (at bat not counted)

    About the stats above: Have fun at the plate. Do not focus on your numbers. If an individual can contribute in two of three areas: defense, dugout attitude or offense, the team should have a good chance to win while we have fun. Everybody slumps, everyone gets hot. Don't get excited by the numbers.

    Sunday Scores     
    Band-Aids 17 , Saki Bombers 5
    Warriors W, Plan B (forfeit)
    Tappa Kegga 11, 1st Round 5
    EP W, Collegetown (forfeit)

    Elsewhere: On the NW, field, the 5-1 Leftovers battled the 6-0 Cerveceros for first-place and crushed 'em 13-1 to tie for first place. However


    Season Standings     

    (Avg Runs For/Against)

    6-1    
    15
    / 12
    5-2
    Empty Pitchers
    11
    / 9
    4-3
    Collegetown
    12
    / 8
    4-3
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    13
    / 10
    4-3
    Warriors
    11
    / 12
    2-5
    1st Round Draft
    8
    / 11
    2-5
    Plan B
    8
    / 14
    1-5
    Saki Bombers
    11
    / 14


    This Week's Games

    Saki Bombers (1-6)
    @ Band-Aids (6-1)

    W7: BandAids 18, Saki 17
    The Saki Bombers on the strength of last week's one-run loss to BA and strong runs for/against averages keep them from being demoted.

    Warriors (4-3)
    @ Tappa Kegga Brew (4-3)

    W4: TKB 13, Warriors 12
    The second rematch this opening round of a game decided by just one run.

    1st Round Draft (2-5)
    @ Collegetown (4-3)

    W6: C-Town 12, 1st Round 3
    If Collegetown shows up, they will find out if 1st Round Draft shows up.

    Tibetian Mountain Monk picks:
    "The yin to my yang says Saki, Kegga, College and Planners so I'm laying my mountain's fortunes on Band-Aids, Warriors, 1st Round and Pitchers - just like last week."
    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 42-21


    News & Notes

    Darkness Dear Boy - Closer to Stadium Tours  
    Oct 28th   - (From Ted): Hello Peeps,
    Our Doggass Productions Headquarters aka Last Exit Bar has closed its doors :( Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end and so this Friday (October 30th) Doggass Productions is going to be relocating to Bogeys Bar & Grill which is on the SE corner of Rural & Guadalupe behind the Circle K.

    FREE show featuring Whats Left, Darkness Dear Boy, Soulafide, & Daimeon Mosley and the Igneous Rocks! There will be good drink specials all night music & art! Come dressed in your Halloween costumes!!

    Also in the works for next month:
    We a chartering a 58 passanger bus out to Prescott Az on Saturday Nov 21st! Whats Left, Darkness Dear Boy & Soulafide are going to play a show at Sundance’s Place!

    We are gonna party the whole way out to Prescott on the bus, play the show and then party back to Phoenix! If you are interested in coming let me know soon as space is limited...tickets are $20 for the ride and show...more details to come!

    Get your pterodactyl Halloween costumes together and we will see you on Friday @ Bogeys Bar!!!

    Injuries  
    Oct 28th   - Amber alert! Don't know where she is... Andrew autopsy! The arm looks good... Triage d'Ted! The ankle is four times the size of Amy's.

    On Deck: Plan B
    (2-5)    9pm - Home

    This season:
    L  1-23    Band-Aids
    W 13-12 Collegetown
    L 10-11  1st Round Draft
    L  5-15    Saki Bombers
    W 13-12 Tappa Kegga Brew
    L 6-8        Empty Pitchers
    L Forfeit vs Warriors

    All-time vs opponent: 2-1
    L 11-9 Season 5
    W 18-8 Season 6
    W 8-6 Season 7

    AWOL: Jamie (Brian) , Sarah? (Marlee)

    What is equal to or stronger than the Plan B pitcher's head? Not much but this preview will take a stab.

    You can be a materials geek if you want--you can think titanium's the coolest, or carbon fiber bike frames are full of awesome.

    Maybe you're a little more esoteric and dream about aerogels or aramids, or maybe nanocoatings.

    But in the end, the only title that really matters is Strongest Material in the World, and that title's just been granted to...something you've never heard of.

    It's called graphene, and anyone familiar with molecular structures probably won't be surprised to know that the new Strongest Material Ever is mostly carbon, the same building block in diamond and buckytubes. The difference with graphene is it lays neatly in a sheet one molecule thick, like ultra-thin plastic wrap.

    A two-dimensional sheet made of pure carbon graphene is 200 times stronger than steel.

    Scouting: Despite Lee not crushing one to the RC fence last game, Jamie insists he has seen Lee repeatedly hit the warning track in the men's league - limit him to singles and doubles.

    Gameplan: Ted will make his season debut as Everyday Joe Utility Guy and will get to dance with Everyday Betty Utility Gal, Connie, between the 4th and 5th inning. Have fun, play great defense, let nothing to the fence.



    This week's maze:

    Jupiter Huggybear's intestines are a mess after consuming too much honey and bees. Help JH's doctors determine how many intestines to lop off so he is left with just one passage for all the tasty stuff in your picnic basket!



    Below: Seed, Team, Record, Total Runs Scored - Runs Allowed                          Semifinal and Championship both played April 19th
    #1 The Band-Aids ( 6-1 )  16
    #8 Saki Bombers ( 1-6 )  17

    #4 Tappa Kegga Brew ( 4-3 )  8
    #5 Warriors ( 4-3 )  14
    #8 Saki Bombers  4
    #5 Warriors  8

    Championship Game
    #5 Warriors 7
    #3 Collegetown 0

    #3 Collegetown  10
    #7 Plan B  6
    #2 Empty Pitchers ( 5-2 )  11
    #7 Plan B ( 2-5 ) 12

    #3 Collegetown ( 4-3 )  13
    #6 1st Round Draft ( 2-5 ) 8



    Recap: Off to Early Hibernation
    Oct 25th,'09 - Forfeit:
    Empty Pitchers 7, Collegetown 0

    AWOL: Jamie (Brian), Sarah (Marlee), Amber (No show again)

    From the words of Keith

    On Sunday night, the mighty Empty Pitchers hosted a tough full-strength Plan B in the first round of the championship playoffs. Pitching and clutch hitting dominated. Superstitions unmet may have unnerved some players. Defense was critical. And of course, don't be surprised if we see the introduction of the instant replay next season thanks to some questionable calls from the boys in blue (not us, the umps).

    The teams before us wrapped up their game a little late before letting the anxious Pitchers take the field. The lights hummed overhead. The grass was damp. The air, chilly. The hour, late. The balls, round. Jason's warm-up pitches looked like he was testing out a new, extra-spinny version of an old favorite.

    The first half of the game saw Plan B coming out of the dugout hammering at Jason's offerings, but they found themselves deeply frustrated at EP's veritable defense. Ron and Andrew both made marvelous hard-throws to first to grab the important outs. Ted, his infield inferiority complex not to be outdone, fired a rocket of his own Jami's way to catch the runner after yanking down a line drive to catch the baserunner. Jami, the receptor of all things in softball potentially lethal--except bats, was stellar at first base with awesome catches and heads-up tags. Jason racked up 3, maybe 4 strikeouts, which has to be a career high. Your correspondent can't remember precisely, probably because of all the delicious paste he ate as a kid.

    Behind the plate, the EP's ladies and lads started out expecting a perfectly normal game, swinging hard, peppering that stretch between the in- and outfields, and challenging the right side. A lot of batters noticed having to stretch unusually at shallow or errant pitches for the hits. Turns out the Plan B pitcher, "Hammerhead Jane," was still a little rattled about being mistaken for the pole in the center of the Kiwanis Field batting cages (for which Keith still feels terrible about--he blames the paste, again). She got the better of him as Keith hit a towering line drive up the middle that was swatted out of the sky by the charging Plan B right-centerfielder to end the inning with the bases loaded. Bummer. Even Manu Ginobili can't yank something out of the air so quickly...or can he?

    Then the third inning happened. Perhaps someone noticed we didn't hang Ptack, our trusty mascot and good-luck charm, in the dugout. Perhaps someone had a premonition that Jason wasn't going to walk any batters. Perhaps the umpires got hungry. Perhaps Ted and Ruthie forgot the count in the outfield, which is unlikely considering it stayed at no outs for quite some time.

    It was certainly enough time for Plan B's seasoned hitters to adjust from power to placement, dropping dozens of hits behind our infielders and in front of our outfielders (who wisely never forgot that Plan B can put them at the fence). Even Plan B's not-so-zesty hitters made enough contact with Jason's Spinny Ball 2.0 to send wonky dribblers off the ends of our infielders' gloves for the base hit. Even the center of our outfield let two too many by to give up some bonus runs. Andrew threw a laser beam for Marlee's glove from the grass for a perfect on-the-plate catch, but still missed the runner by a half-step. That's just the way it was going. Arg!

    Down by several at the bottom of the inning, the Pitchers were frustrated by "Hammerhead Jane's" on-again, off-again lobs and were batting defensively. The left side of Plan B's infield made several fantastic throws to first to beat our runners. Double Arg!

    The fourth inning saw a return to form for the EPs. Solid defense by all put a quick end to Plan B's attempts at another crushing rally, but the damage had already been done. It would be up to our batting to make the repairs. Wise dugout counsel prompted our batters to swing only when absolutely necessary. The leisurely path around the diamond had already begun adding up the runs to shrink the defecit when the umpire suddenly announced that time had expired and this would be the last inning. With two outs, the EPs drew the wise walks to put the tying run on second base with Marlee as the winning run on first. Once again, a mountain of D-league pressure was upon our bottom of the order, and this time it fell on our Free Agent sub Brian. Brian's no stranger to clutch hitting heroics, and he let loose with a thunderous crack......!!!!!!

    Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
    The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
    And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout;
    But there is no joy in Mudville - a toss to 2B made the out.

    At least it wasn't as bad as some:


    Season Wrap:

    6-1    
    15
    / 12
    5-2
    Empty Pitchers
    11
    / 9
    4-3
    Collegetown
    12
    / 8
    4-3
    Tappa Kegga Brew    
    13
    / 10
    4-3
    Warriors
    11
    / 12
    2-5
    1st Round Draft
    8
    / 11
    2-5
    Plan B
    8
    / 14
    1-5
    Saki Bombers
    11
    / 14

    We had a nice season in perhaps the deepest league we've played. The #7 and #8 teams both won their opening games. The Warriors, Band-Aids and Plan B did their parts to stoke rivalries while another team ran when confronted by our team.

    The team accomplished the minimum of three goals by beating Plan B, averaging less than 10 runs a game defensively (one of only two teams), and breaking bread / drinking pitchers.

    As for the other goals, we came within one run of beating the Band-Aids, within one game for first-place and just one question away from solving the question of Raoul.

    Awards presentation

    Tears often fall along the faces of those receiving awards and why not maximize our ability to watch as many tears fall from our Most Sensative Player. That sensative player above all others was the first to rush to the Plan B pitcher after drilling her unmercifully. Congrats Keith - that was you!

    Assistant GM, let's see if we can get even more tears to flow. Since we had no additions to the team, it'll go to the person with our finale's writeup. Congrats Keith - that was you!

    It was just her improved batting and defense on the field but her improved handling of the media by use of a publicist. Congrats Sarah - that was you.

    There is the matter of Raoul. We almost had a 6 way tie. Just when we think we are closer to solving question, we realize our answers may be of no use to solving the question. Who better to use these deep words than our team lyricist. Congrats Ted - that was you.

    Make room in the club for our third two-time MVP. Congratulations Jason! You were Mr. Consistent on the mound with pitches and defense while swinging a nice stick this season - that was you.

    Next season

    I'd like to see us accomplish a goal yet tried: 2 hrs of team charity work. Anyone with ideas - email Jamie.

    It's quite possible we'll be playing with just ten players for the spring season.

    We'll schedule some scrimmages in January. Season starts in February.

    Kiwanis fields are undergoing rehab in spring so we may have 10 teams per division with games starting at 5pm instead of 6pm.



    This week's maze:

    Jupiter Huggybear is trying to stay dry from Keith's sensitive tears. If tears start flowing down the top spout, will he get wet from the exit of the maze or from water from the sides first?



    Saki B
    L 7-10 Empty
    L 12-17 War
    L 5-12 College
    Plan
    Round
    Kegga
    Band

    24
    39
    -15
    TKeggaBrew
    L 6-8 College
    L 12-15 Empty
    W 17-12Band
    War
    Plan
    Saki
    Round

    35
    35
    0
    Warriors
    W 11-10 Round
    W 17-12 Saki
    W 9-8 Empty
    Brew
    College
    Band
    Plan

    37
    30
    +7
    1stRdDft
    L 10-11 War
    L 12-14 Band
    W 11-10 Plan
    Empty
    Saki
    College
    Brew

    33
    35
    -2
    Band-Aids
    W 23-1 Plan
    W 14-12 Round
    L 12-17 Brew
    College
    Empty
    War
    Saki

    49
    30
    +19
    Plan B
    L 1-23 Band
    W 13-12 College
    L 10-11 Round
    Saki
    Brew
    Empty
    War

    24
    46
    -22
    College
    W 8-6 Brew
    L 12-13 Plan
    W 12-5 Saki
    Band
    War
    Round
    Empty

    32
    24
    +8

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