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Empty Pitchers Softball


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Additions: None
Departures: None
How could we forget?: Andy, Arlene, Christine, Dennis, Jay, Katie, Saman, Sherri, Vanessa and Vicky

Schedule - DNE
Sept 12th
L 17-3
@Better L8 Than Never
Sept 19th
L 12-8
@ Armadillos
Sept 26th
W 18-12
Arrowlane
Oct 3rd
W 11-4
Dobson Ranch HOA
Oct 10th
L 18-5
@ No Tan Lines
Oct 17th
L 17-7
C Dogs
Oct 24th
W 16-5
Boston's Bar & Grill
Playoffs Start
Nov 7th
L 13-7
@ No Tan Lines
Regular Season Standings
 (Avg Runs For/Against)

7-0  (   20 / 4     )  Better L8
6-1  (   15 / 9     )  No Tan Lines
4-3  (   14 / 14   )  Arrowlane
4-3  (   13 / 12   )  C Dogs
3-4  (   12 / 13   )  Armadillos
3-4  (   10 / 13   )  Empty Pitchers
1-6  (     8 / 15   )  Boston's B&G
0-7  (     5 / 17   )  Dobson HOA
Season Awards
Co-MVPs: Marlee and Jamie
Most Improved Player:
Ruthie
Asst GM Award: Christine
Most Sensitive Player: Keith
Rookie of the season: None
Most Not Named Raoul: Jamie

Checklist - complete at least three
  • Avg 15+ runs scored/game
  • Avg less than 10 runs allowed/game
  • Break bread / drink pitchers
  • Solve question of Raoul
  • Two hrs of team charity work
  • First place regular seaon
  • Win tournament
  • Undefeated season

  • League:  Season Preview

    New teams / old teams:   For the third straight season, the Armadillos and No Tan Lines are in our division. Better L8 Than Never (the homerun crushers) and C-Dogs also return to the northeast Dawson field. This will be the Empty Pitchers' third straight season on the NE Dawson field, which Tempe reserves for its top teams. Congrats!

    Rounding out the league will be Dobson Ranch HOA, one of the SE field's top teams the past two seasons, Arrowlane and Boston's Bar & Grill, neither of whom we know anything about. Our schedule gives us the advantage of scouting these two new teams before encountering them.

    Aside from the teams we know nothing about, this looks to be a very balanced field, aside from Better L8 who have to be the favorites unless a team like the Pitchers decides to outhit Better L8.

    Old rivals elsewhere
    On the SE field: Warriors, Leftovers, Where's Home, Finish Strong, FR Ramrod and Black Sox.
    On the NW field: 1st Round Draft and Saki Bombers
    On the SW field: Jagerbombers, Rounders and TGFTW


    New faces / old faces:   Chad has work to do Sunday nights scouting the NFL teams for the Jacksonville Jaguars, rendering him unavailable to play. Andrew, at Jessica's urging to get him out of the house, returns to action. The remainder of the roster remains the same.

    On the field, look for more utility action from Jamie and Ted as Andrew holds down 3B while rehabbing / strenghtening his ankle. At the plate, it's time to buckle down and become a leaner, meaner offensive machine.


    New look:   The team has looked for new uniforms but nothing yet has been decided. Regardless of the uniform in use, on October 17th, Courtney and Jamie will be celebrating their wedding weekend with softball (they get married on Friday the 15th in Sedona). All uniforms will have a slight tweak to them. Jamie's family will be in town attending the game and everyone should plan to join them for a quick drink and/or bite post-game.



    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    On Deck:  Better L8 Than Never
    7pm - Away

    History: 0-1
    L 2-17 Season 9

    "Step right up to the plate and crack a hit. Yessir-ee, let's see what you can do!"

    "Look at this young man and gorgeous lady... wearing those matching white and blue outfits!

    "Whaddya say, sir and ma'am, would you like to win a free pitcher of beer? Just need two more people to step up and the four of ya can take whacks and make your way around each base... it's as simple as that!

    "Even if you lose, I got these pretty, stuffed animals that look like flying dinosaurs for you to take home. But if you get twenty runs, you're a winner!"

    Scouted:
    This team hits over all the fences - left, center and right. Jason will do his best to jam the batters and make them work for a good pitch to crush. Minimize the errors, keep the ball in front of the outfielders and relax at the plate. We can't outhit them power-wise, but we can outhit them to minimize their atbats.

    Pregame:
    For this first game, please arrive at 6:30pm and in addition to warming up your arms, grab a bat and take 20-30 good practice swings to shake the rust off... or it could be a very short night.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   Armadillos
    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   Arrowlane
    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   Better L8
    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   Boston's B&G
    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   C Dogs
    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   Dobson Ranch
    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   Empty Pitchers
    0-0  (   0 / 0   )   No Tan Lines

    Upcoming Games

    Arrowlane @ No Tan Lines
    Next time your friend is asleep while sunning on a lawn chair on beach towel, use suntan lotion to create arrows on your friend's body.

    Armadillos @ C Dogs
    Last time the Dillos drilled and dinked hits towards a 13-7 victory. Did the ol' C Dogs learn any new tricks since then?

    Boston's Bar & Grill @ Dobson Ranch HOA
    On principal alone, one must side with a bar over an HOA. While one brings happiness to a community, the other brings hefty fees which are often mismanaged, unless the HOA provides a drunk bus.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    I have returned from the big city and am embarassed to admit, I have been having a heck of a time "passing" all this processed food.

    I predict a tall tan beer, a strong arm lifting the beer, the beer being emptied, and an HOA member finding me passed out on someone's lawn.

    Last week: 0-0
    Total: 86-54


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    Sept 12th - Ruthie
    Sept 19th - Connie and Ron
    Oct 10th - Connie and Ruthie
    Oct 17th - Connie and Ron


    Darkness Dear Boy

    Only the roar of a go-kart could drown out Ted's rocking last Friday at Fiddlesticks. Most common exclamation heard that night: "They don't serve beer here?"

    Jamie did his best to sabotage Ron's Formula 1 run by delaying his start of the race, but his souped-up racer cruised around to take first place before running out of gas on the last lap. Who knew go-karts needed pit stops. Marlee blamed her non-first-place finish on her tires being worn.


    Riddles of Raoul

    I have land without mountians, rivers without water, and cities without people. What am I?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   A map     "





    Recap:  Devastion

    Sept 12th, 2010
    Better L8 Than Never 17, Empty Pitchers 3

    Gone: Marlee ( Sherri ) and Ruthie ( Vicky )

    The good news: the Empty Pitchers improved from last time they played Better L8, by losing only 17-3 instead of 17-2. Jason pitched a masterful game giving up no homeruns, which hardly in pitcher can say in Tempe - especially after having faced them twice. Ted continues to make web gems in the outfield as well.

    Box Scores
    Ron
    2-2, R
    Connie
    0-2
    Jamie
    2-2, RBI
    Jami
    0-2
    Andrew
    2-2, R
    Courtney
    2-2
    Jason
    1-2, R, RBI
    Vicky
    1-2, RBI
    Keith
    1-2
    Sherri
    0-1
    Ted
    0-1, pu
    Sarah
    0-1, K
    The devasting news: In addition to losing by a combined 34-5 in our two meetings, Andrew was lost for the season on a headfirst dive into 3B, tearing his pec muscle. Fantasy softball fans around the Valley cringed and tied up local networks on Wednesday when the full injury was disclosed and available players cleared waivers.

    Statistically, the was the first time in EP history the team has not batted through the order twice completely. The last time that occurred, the team was Last Call Clean All and it was a regular occurrence.

    Better L8 played to crush and embarass us. The Empty Pitchers have been playing to have fun and win. While no doubt can be given that 100% effort was given by EP players, their approach and intensity will need to adjust in future matchups with Better L8 and similar teams. Swagger and bravado need to make occasional appearances.

    Scouted:
    One area EP showed bravado was on the basepaths, but unfortunately it had a negative effect. Better L8 arms arrived late to catch the force but their throws weren't too late to catch runners rounding bases. Yes, the blues missed two calls but EP needs to avoid losing any precious outs on the basepaths.

    Fungos:
    Plate perfection: Andrew, Courtney, Jamie and Ron - two of whom heeded the call to swing bats pregame to warm up; the rest of the team batted 3-11, so statistics suggest swinging a bat pregame is beneficial... Marlee was out-of-town at a seminar on the updated opti-grab... Ruthie was in St. Louis on special assignment with the Cardinals as a hitting coach specialist...


    Special Report:  Andrew's Injury

    from Andrew on Wed - Yesterday I spent the afternoon at the doctor's and waiting for xrays............I guess it's just part of the process. X-rays only look at bones. I guess they do that as standard procedure. I have no broken bones......now I have to schedule and get an MRI ......trying to get it done today. I'm pretty sure I have a substantial tear of my pec, guessing I'll be out for a while. I can't do anything with my arm extended more than about a foot away from my body. My entire biceps is showing bruising......looks kind of weird. fyi....while I was in the office, I had him look at my ankle/achilles.........just with a little feeling around he could tell I had a pretty good sprain of my achilles recently and he recommend some PT for that after we get my pec resolved. turning 40 sucks....



    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    On Deck:  Armadillos
    6pm - Away

    Gone: Connie and Ron (no subs)

    History: 0-1
    L 7-9 Season 9
    W 12-11 Season 10

    For the second consecutive matchup with the Armadillos, Connie and Ron will be gone traveling. Will Jason, for the second consecutive matchup, write the writeup?

    To get ready for a rematch with Better L8 and other tough foes such as No Tan Lines and Boston's, let's bring out the beat down stick this week. The Armadillos are a mirror image of us. We need to morph into a more ferocious beast...

    Scouted:
    Right here, right now - almost every batter took aim towards RF. It was a busy night for Chad.... Their pitcher tosses almost every pitch with backspin... their team keeps stats too in a separate baseball stat book - no need to snap a photo.

    Pregame:
    Watch some football, head to the field, grab a bat and take 20-30 good practice swings.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    1-0  (  17 / 3     )   Better L8
    1-0  (    17 / 3   )   Boston's B&G
    1-0  (   15 / 8     )  C Dogs
    1-0  (   22 / 16   )  No Tan Lines
    0-1  (    8 / 15   )   Armadillos
    0-1  (  16 / 22   )   Arrowlane
    0-1  (     3 / 17   )  Dobson HOA
    0-1  (     3 / 17   )  Empty Pitchers

    Sunday's Scores

    No Tan Lines, 22, Arrowlane 16
    Better L8 17, EP 3
    C-Dogs 15, Armadillos 8
    Boston's 17, Dobson HOA 3

    Upcoming Games

    Dobson Ranch HOA @ C-Dogs
    The HOA has leash laws? I don't think so. The penalty for leaving poop in someone's yard: collected poop can be collected and tossed over your backyard wall and into your pool. Ewwwww.

    Better L8 @ No Tan Lines
    Titans. Epic matchup.

    Boston's Bar & Grill @ Arrowlane
    The new kids on the block match up. Who has the right stuff and will be hanging tough at the games end? The winner will likely follow a step-by-step philosophy to winning.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    The results last week were predicted by a passing pigeon. This week I pass the task to a more trusted source: the workers on an ant hill:

    Empty, C Dogs, Better L8 and Boston's.

    Last week: 1-3
    Total: 87-57


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    Sept 19th - Connie and Ron
    Sept 26th - Sarah and Ted
    Oct 10th - Connie and Ruthie
    Oct 17th - Connie and Ron


    New Empty Pitcher

    Jason's friend, Jay, will play in Andrew's place this season until he is able to return in the spring. Welcome Jay!


    Riddles of Raoul

    For all the toughness spoken of this week, I offer this riddle:
    How does a boat show affection?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   It hugs the shore     "





    Recap:  Runners Still Left on Base

    Sept 19th, 2010
    Armadillos 12, Empty Pitchers 8
    EP:    0   2   0   2   2   2   0  =  8
    AM:   0   4   6   0   1   1   x  =   12

    Gone: Ron, Connie and Sarah ( Katie )

    Three days after Sunday night's game, nearly of the quarter of the twelve runners left on base are still unaccounted for. Search parties from both the team and City of Tempe are still looking. Cleo, Logan and Patches are working their noses overtime, trying to pick up any scents to determine their location before next Sunday's game.

    Box Scores
    Courtney
    2-5, R, BB
    Jamie
    2-5, R, pu
    Marlee
    2-4, R, RBI
    Jason
    1-4, R, RBI
    Jami
    4-4, 2R, 2RBI
    Ted
    2-4
    Ruthie
    2-4, R, 2RBI
    Jay
    3-4, 2RBI
    Katie
    1-4
    Keith
    3-4, R
    The Empty Pitcher's woes at the plate continued for the first three innings, scoring only two total runs. The Armadillos put together a good inning in the 2nd, grabbing four runs.

    In the bottom of the 3rd, Jason was able to get two outs with runners on 1st and 2nd. At that point, Jason's focus drifted to his daughter's awesome pitching debut a few nights before. By the time Jason snapped out of it, he had walked two guys and two girls had automatically taken 1B without batting. With the bases loaded, a Dillo donged a shallow shot to the OF. Keith dove for the ball (Andrew style) but the ball bounced just short and then beyond, scoring three more runs.

    The EP bats awoke the next three innings, scoring two runs in each. The EP defense held the Dillos to just two runs the next three innings. With two minutes left, the Pitchers came to the plate and loaded the bases for Jamie with two outs. The result: three more runners left on base and a win for the Dillos, who take a 2-1 lead in the series.

    Scouted:
    Backspin and more backspin from the 'Dillo pitcher. Solid defense all around and they continue to work RF more than LF at the plate.

    Fungos:
    Plate perfection: Jami... and Ruthie continues her mean assault with a stick on the Dillos, as she crushed hard shots in every at-bat... Katie made her EP debut after subbing for Friday's Free Agents, who won their opening game... In his EP debut in Andrew's place, Jay cracked three hits and knocked in several runs. Way to go, new guy!... Ruthie was called for obstruction running to 2B in this game causing a doubleplay (similar to Jamie and Keith in previous games). Make sure if you are going to be thrown out at 2B you veer off to the right... Jamie tried the hotdog / chip / soda combo for $3 and tried hot sauce on his dog with spicy mustard. Tasty!... The umpires fouled up two more close calls in as many games against the Pitchers... The elephant in the room: the Empty Pitchers have started 0-2 just once in season four and finished 4-3 (record keeping began in season three).


    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    On Deck:  Arrowlane
    9pm - Home

    Gone: Ted ( ? )

    History: First meeting
    No Tan Lines, 22, Arrowlane 16
    Arrowlane 11, Boston's 8

    Founded in 2002 as Plateau Motorsports, ArrowLane, LLC has become a noted shop for car enthusiasts in the Southwest. Based in Scottsdale Airpark, Scottsdale, Arizona our facility has allowed us to grow and succeed. The staff of ArrowLane is dedicated to their craft as well as helping our customers achieve their goals in all aspects of car ownership, racing, and enjoying their automobiles.

    All the details are provided by Arrowlane: race prep, maintenance, transportation, driver coaching, and hospitality. They take care of you every step of the way.

    Track support by our experienced ArrowLane crews will give you all of the necessary aspects of a great race weekend. Car reliability and safety - improved driver comfort and driving skills – finishing your event and placing well - we take pride in these goals for your racing experience.

    Scouted:
    We don't know a thing about Arrowhead except from their two games' scores, in which they know how to score runs. Their defense may be a little suspect but it'll likely require out-hitting them for the win.

    Pregame:
    Watch some football, head to the field, grab a bat and take 20-30 good practice swings.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    2-0  (  19 / 5     )   Better L8
    2-0  (   17 / 8     )  C Dogs
    1-1  (    13 / 7   )   Boston's B&G
    1-1  (   14 / 15   )   Arrowlane
    1-1  (   10 / 15   )   Armadillos
    1-1  (   14 / 18   )  No Tan Lines
    0-2  (     6 / 15   )  Empty Pitchers
    0-2  (     5 / 18   )  Dobson HOA

    Sunday's Scores

    The top team crushed the other top team, or is another team the other top team?

    Armadillos 12, EP 8
    C Dogs 19, Dobson HOA 7
    Better L8 20, No Tan Lines 6
    Arrowlane 11, Boston's 8

    Upcoming Games

    Armadillos @ Dobson Ranch HOA
    First dogs overrun the homeowners association. Next up, battling leash laws on Armadillos. Have you tried leashing an armadillo?

    No Tan Lines @ Boston's Bar & Grill
    Black and tans at Boston's Bar & Grill are more fun to make than drink. Can you create a distinct line between the black and tan beers?

    C Dogs @ Better L8
    The league will be down to one undefeated team after this Sunday. Poor Better L8 has no top teams to beat up on in the season's second half.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    Tonight I dance with banshees to bring luck to the Empty Pitchers in their quest for the first win of season eleven. I've had minimal experience with the ladies so any advice you can send my way would be appreciated!

    Dillos, Lines, Never and Empty!

    Last week: 2-2
    Total: 89-59


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    Sept 26th - Sarah and Ted
    Oct 10th - Connie and Ruthie
    Oct 17th - Connie and Ron


    Riddles of Raoul

    For all the toughness spoken of this week, I offer this riddle:
    Other than being colors, what do the words orange, silver and purple have in common?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   There is no word in the English language that rhymes with them.     "





    Recap:  Rockin' Ruthie... Tweet Tweet Tweet....

    Sept 26th, 2010
    Empty Pitchers 18, Arrowlane 12
    AL:    1    4   4   3   0   0  =  12
    EP:    0  11   1   2   4   x  =  18

    Gone: Ted ( None )

    Are the Empty Pitchers back? In seven of the past nine innings, the team has scored two or more runs, including a monstrous 2nd inning this week. In the field, the defense was top flight. All of this against a solid, Arrowlane team, a newcomer from the Kiwanis fields who won last season's tournament in a bumped up division.

    Boasting a lineup of Mark McGuire-type batters and Sheena Easton-like battresses, the ball was flying off their bats. Marlee took much of the initial action, ripping liners out of the sky and creating a wall in front of all balls pounded on the ground.

    Jami
    3-4,  2R, 2RBI
    Jay
    1-4,  RBI
    Marlee
    3-4,  2R, 2RBI, BB
    Ron
    3-4,  2R, 2RBI, BB
    Connie
    2-4,  2R, 2RBI
    Courtney
    4-4,  4R, 2RBI
    Jason
    3-4,  3R, 2RBI, BB
    Ruthie
    4-4,  R, 2RBI
    Keith
    3-4,  R, 2RBI, BB
    Sarah
    0-3,  shocked by her surplus energy
    Jamie
    2-3,  R, 2RBI, pu
    What Marlee stopped towards the right side, Courtney plucked out of the air like fireflies lighting the field for the late game. As the game wore on, Arrowlane decided to avoid our girls and aim up the middle, but there was Jay, doing his best Ted impression with several gazelle-like catches.

    Arrowlane put five runs on the board and was feeling good when the arsenal was opened. Courtney got the inning rolling as half the lineup batted twice in the inning. While Courtney and Ruthie were teeing shots off to the outfield, Jason and Keith both drew two-RBI walks in the inning, which ended with a six-run lead for the Pitchers.

    The Arrowlane defense could not be blamed for all the runs and the put their focus back into their bats as they dropped four and three runs across the plate over the next few innings, but it would not be enough as EP dropped several insurance runs across the plate

    Fungos:
    Jason had just one walk, a prerequisite for a win… Plate perfection: Courtney and Ruthie went a combined 8-8, 5R and 4RBI… EP batters took 4 walks, tying a team record set in a season seven 28-20 win over 1st Rd Draft in which Ruthie alone walked three times… Cleo and Patches returned to the dugout with the return of fall weather… The tide turned as EP got the benefit of a missed call at 3B as Jamie, on a relay from Ron, braced himself for impact (p=mv) instead of tagging the runner - but the blue called the runner out… The team planned to play with ten but Sarah's schedule freed up at the last moment!

    Scouted:
    Arrowlane belongs on Tempe's top fields. Their pitcher throws lots of backspin so keep your shots aimed on the ground. The shortstop makes some poor decisions with his throws when the game is in the later innings.




    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    Special Report:  Andrew's Injury

    from Andrew on Tues - Today the orthopedic doc recommended surgery within the next two weeks... and it is happening Thursday September 30th at 1:45pm.

    Two screws/anchors will be put into my arm and then the tendon sutured to the anchors. Over next 12+ weeks the tendon will re-attach around the suture and to the bone. My pec is torn and my biceps tendon is partially in my forearm right now.

    You won't see me diving again any time soon...




    On Deck:  Dobson Ranch HOA
    6pm - Home

    History:
    First meeting

    This season:
    Boston's 17, Dobson HOA 3
    C Dogs 19, Dobson HOA 7
    Armadillos 20, Dobson HOA 5

    Gone: None

    The origins of Dobson Ranch reach back to the early history of the east valley when it began as a cattle ranch and farming operation. Wilson Wesley Dobson emigrated from Canada to Arizona and began his cattle ranching and farming in 1886, which is 25 years before Roosevelt Dam was completed. He may have belonged to the Salt River Valley Water Users Association (SRVWUA) who pledged more than 200,000 acres of their land for the federal construction loan to build the dam. As many as 20,000 head of cattle roamed the land where Baseline Road stands.

    Phoenix’s economic base was built upon the 3 C’s; cotton, citrus and cattle. These staples of economic growth began to succumb to the need for residential developments. In the early 70’s, The City of Mesa purchased enough acreage from the Dobson family to complete a championship 18 hole municipal golf course. Also in the early 70’s, Continental Homes purchased 2,000 acres paving the way for Dobson Ranch which opened in October 1973.

    Scouted:
    We've followed Dobson Ranch HOA the past few seasons on the SE field. They can put up big numbers in a hurry. Do not take 'em lightly!

    Pregame:
    Watch some football, head to the field, grab a bat and take 20-30 good practice swings.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    3-0  (   20 / 4     )   Better L8
    2-1  (   13 / 9     )   Armadillos
    2-1  (   16 / 14   )  No Tan Lines
    2-1  (   12 / 13   )  C Dogs
    1-2  (   11 / 12   )  Boston's B&G
    1-2  (   13 / 16   )  Arrowlane
    1-2  (   10 / 14   )  Empty Pitchers
    0-3  (     5 / 19   )  Dobson HOA

    Sunday's Scores

    The winning teams on the NE field won by a combined 82-27.

    Armadillos 20, Dobson HOA 5
    No Tan Lines 21, Boston's 7
    Better L8 23, C Dogs 3
    EP 18, Arrowland 12

    Elsewhere

    Warriors 11, Proctor Doctors 4
    Leftovers 15, Finish Strong 14
    Black Sox 13, Team Ramrod 1
    Where's Home 14, Cerveceros 8
    Our Couch Pulls Out 25, Argyle Sox 0
    Basis Loaded* 16, Maulers 2

    * Amy Dalton's new team on Kiwanis field

    Upcoming Games

    Arrowlane @ Better L8 Than Never
    With a matchup of the leagues tallest and bulkiest male hitters, ladies who love firefighter calendars ought to enjoy this one. As a bonus, Phx is expecting record high temps + early game = sweaty action.

    Armadillos at Boston's Bar & Grill
    Want a recipe for grilled armadillo eggs? Or what if the Armadillo bought Boston's and renamed it for itself?

    No Tan Lines @ C Dogs
    Leather is a material created through the tanning of hides and skins of animals, primarily cattlehide. Is a C Dog like a Sea Monkey, in which it's not really a monkey to get all worked up about?



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    The banshees helped me to a 4-0 record last week. Raoul recommended some Elvis to get the legs and ladies movin'. May I recommend to all: The Memphis Record.

    Dillos, Lines, Never and Empty for the 2nd straight week!

    Last week: 4-0
    Total: 93-59


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    Oct 10th - Connie, Marlee, Ruthie and Ted


    Riddles of Raoul

    Where does a bird go when it loses its tail ?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   The retail store     "





    Recap:  Dobson Ranch Wrangled and Branded

    Sept 26th, 2010
    Empty Pitchers 11, Dobson Ranch HOA 4
    DR:    2   0   1   0   1   0  =  4
    EP:    2   1   5   3   0    x  =  11

    Gone: Keith and Ruthie ( None )

    The Empty Pitchers returned to .500 with an impressive defensive outting and are now in position to finish with a winning record for a ninth consecutive season, though the feat will not be easy with three good opponents ahead: No Tan Lines, C Dogs and Boston's Bar & Grill.

    The defense had a few bumps in the first inning on the left side of the infield. A one-hopper relay to 3B scooted past Jamie and into the dugout, allowing the baserunners to automatically advance to home and 3B respectively. Unfortunately, the girl's slide into 3B injured her back and she later left the game, a mighty blow as she was their best female.

    Marlee
    1-4,  BB, K
    Ted
    1-4,  R, pu
    Courtney
    4-4,  3R
    Ron
    3-4,  HR, 2R, 3RBI
    Jami
    1-4,  R, 2RBI, K
    Jamie
    2-3,  3R, RBI, BB
    Sarah
    1-3,  BB, K
    Jason
    3-3,  R, 4RBI
    Connie
    3-3,  RBI, BB
    Jay
    1-3,  K, pu
    In the bottom of the first, Ted onside kicked/hit the ball, which the pitcher converted into a 1-6-3 doubleplay. With two down, Courtney belted her offering for a single and up came Ron. He sliced his first pitch over 1B and scampered around the bases to give the team a two-run lead.

    Above: Dobson Ranch cattle keep the softball fields free of long grass on weekdays during the late 1800's and early 1900's.
    Not to be outdone defensively with runners at 1st and 2nd in the top of the second, Jason fielded a grounder and threw to Jamie who converted the 1-5-3 doubleplay with Jami.

    Beyond their two runs in the first inning, Dobson Ranch was never able to mount a consistent inning due to solid outfield play. It was a busy night for Connie, who injured her ankle earlier in the day playing soccer. DRHOA had numerous lefties in their lineup, which meant crickets for Courtney in LF.

    EP got things rolling in the third and fourth innings with a mix of nice hits and booted plays by HOA infielders. The first three hitters of the 3rd inning, Ted, Courtney and Ron, singled, singled, doubled and all scored. Later in the inning with two outs, Jason doubled and reached third as Jamie caused an overthrow at 3B, allowing him to score. Connie knocked in Jason and Jay singled before Marlee got caught staring at glitter the pitcher secretly placed on the ball.

    In the fourth, the team put together another nice run with two outs. Jami's single was able to move Courtney to 3B and Jamie was walked on three straight pitches, scoring Courtney. Sarah took a free walk because of the walk-a-guy-with-two-outs-rule and Jason delivered again, bringing both Jami(e)'s home. Connie singled to load the bases but the HOA pitcher induced a popup by Jay to end the inning, preventing further damage, but it was all the Pitchers would need to hold on to win.

    Fungos:
    Plate perfection: Connie and Jason (both 3-3) and Courtney (4-4 and jinxed now with an 8-8 tear over the last two games. She forgot to wash her shirt before this game - will she wash it before next game or let the shirt ride the hit streak out?)... Half the team batted 5 for 18 while the other half batted 15 for 17... Connie created tonight's lineup, which went through the order once and was one batter away from the feat a second time in the fourth inning... For the second straight game, the team drew four walks but also had four strikeouts, breaking the old EP record of two. Five fans in the stands.

    Scouted:
    Pitcher is a little wild with a funky spin. Their OF didn't get tested much. Their infield is capable but not top tier. Hard shots on the ground often had a greater than 50% chance of getting through to the outfield. At the plate, if it wasn't hit to RF it was up the middle with low liners. Most importantly, a friendly team.




    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    On Deck:  No Tan Lines
    8pm - Away

    History:
    1-0
    S10: W 11-4

    This season:
    No Tan Lines, 22, Arrowlane 16
    Better L8 20, No Tan Lines 6
    No Tan Lines 21, Boston's 7
    No Tan Lines 20, C Dogs 2

    Gone: Connie, Marlee, Ruthie, Sarah and Ted

    Don't be comofortable with the previous meeting's result - No Tan Lines was missing all but two of their regular players. Last season they still finished in first place with a 6-1 record, 6-1 and averaging 15 runs scored vs 7 runs given up - best in the division.

    This game will be a good test for the Empty Pitchers to determine their playoff mettle (medal?) (metal?) (meddle?). Consistent offense and defense or a really bad game by No Tan Lines should land the Pitchers the victory.

    Scouted:
    Of their two regulars, their guy at 3B doesn't hit deep. Their girl at 2B easily landed several shots over 3B and fielded some hot shots.

    Pregame:
    Watch some football, head to the field, grab a bat and take 20-30 good practice swings.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    4-0  (   20 / 4     )   Better L8
    3-1  (   17 / 11   )  No Tan Lines
    3-1  (   14 / 10   )  Armadillos
    2-2  (   10 / 11   )  Empty Pitchers
    2-2  (   10 / 15   )  C Dogs
    1-3  (   11 / 12   )  Boston's B&G
    1-3  (   11 / 17   )  Arrowlane
    0-4  (     5 / 17   )  Dobson HOA

    The Empty Pitchers are creeping back up in the standings!

    Sunday's Scores

    The winning teams on the NE field won by a combined 82-27.

    EP 11, Dobson HOA 4
    Better L8 19, Arrowlane 4
    Armadillos 14, Boston's 13
    No Tan Lines 20, C Dogs 2

    Southeast Field
    Warriors 13, Where's Home 1
    Black Sox 13, Ceveceros 9
    Leftovers 13, CAS Proctor Doctors 12
    Finish Strong 17, Ramrod 7

    Elsewhere
    Super Heros in Training 17, Basis Loaded* 0

    * Amy Dalton's new team on Kiwanis field

    Upcoming Games

    Boston's Bar & Grill @ C Dogs
    The question last week was whether it was wrong to tan dog hides. Well, Michael Vick's ribs got beat up pretty good that same weekend. So what will happen to Michael Vick as we ask whether it's ok to grill up some canine?

    Armadillos @ Arrowlane
    The battle atop the alphabetical standings is finally here. Can an arrow puncture the thick, shell-like skin of the armadillo? Sure it can. It's not a turtle!

    Better L8 @ Dobson Ranch HOA
    Dobson Ranch's chances for their first victory of the season look similar to the Arizona Cardinal's chances of reaching the Super Bowl this year.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    Two straight 4-0 weeks. I got a lot riding on the EP pick over Tan Lines. If correct I will reach 99 correctly picked, which is more significant in my spiritual world than 100 correct.

    Boston's, Dillos, Pitchers and Never

    Last week: 4-0
    Total: 97-59


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    Oct 10th - Connie, Marlee, Ruthie, Sarah and Ted


    Injuries

    Jessica says Andrew's surgery went smoothly, he's in some pain but the docs have him on medicine to keep everything groovy.


    Can You Hear Me Now? Ted's band Darkness Dear Boy has the following upcoming shows:
    Wed Oct 6, 8pm: Bogeys in Tempe
    Wed Oct 13, 8pm:Bogeys in Tempe
    Fri Oct 15, 10pm: The Rogue Bar in Scottsdale


    Riddles of Raoul

    What has a foot on each side and one in the middle??
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   a yardstick     "





    Recap:  E = PU^2

    Oct 10th, 2010
    No Tan Lines 18, Empty Pitchers 5
    EP:    0   0   2   3   0   0   =  5
    TL:    4   2   6   1   5    x   =  18

    Gone: Marlee ( Christine ), Connie ( Sherri ), Sarah ( Arlene ), Ruthie and Ted

    Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups...

    Jami
    2-3,  BB
    Keith
    1-3,  R
    Courtney
    0-2,  RBI, sac
    Ron
    1-3,  2R, BB
    Christine
    3-3,  R, 3RBI
    Jamie
    0-3,  2pu, marriage...
    Sherri
    1-3,  RBI, 2pu
    Jason
    1-2,  pu
    Arlene
    1-2, 
    Jay
    2-2,  R
    Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups...

    Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups... Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups...

    Fungos:
    Plate perfection: Christine goes 3-3 with 3 RBIs... Christine also perfected our situation behind the plate when Katie got drunk and forgot to sub. Her mom, Arlene, was in the stands and stepped in behind the plate. Five fans in the stands.

    Scouted:
    Solid all around team, though it's likely they were amazed by the unusually large amounts of errors and pop-ups.




    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    On Deck:  C Dogs
    7pm - Home

    History:
    0-0
    S10: Rained out - no make up

    This season:
    C-Dogs 15, Armadillos 8
    C Dogs 19, Dobson HOA 7
    Better L8 23, C Dogs 3
    No Tan Lines 20, C Dogs 2
    C Dogs 18, Boston's Bar & Grill 5

    Gone: Connie, Keith (Andy ) and Ron

    Preview provided by Sun Yat Se, one of only two dogs to survive the sinking of the Titanic:

    Let us remember... It is documented that a passenger went below and released all the dogs from the kennels before Titanic disappeared below the waves. Some accounts speak of a Newfoundland that saved a woman's life by dragging her to a lifeboat before expiring itself. There are tales of Rigel, a Newfoundland belonging to the Titanic's first officer swimming in the freezing sea in a desperate attempt to find his master. Rigel's story goes on to say that he prevented the Carpathia from missing a lifeboat with survivors too weak to identify their location, by barking till someone heard him and the people were saved. This story suggests that three dogs were saved as Rigel apparently was taken on board the Carpathia and given medical attention and food. It should be remembered that the water temperature at that time was such that any human's or dog's survival was a miracle.

    Scouted:
    C Dogs have played like the Pitchers, beating up on teams they should (Dobson Ranch) and getting slaughtered by No Tan Lines and Never L8. Only difference - they beat up on the Armadillos.

    Jamie's younger brother, Andy, will sub for the guys and perhaps his wife, Vanessa, will see some action.

    Pregame:
    Don your bowtie or garter belt - the game will be Courtney and Jamie's first in married life.

    Postgame
    Drinks and a few bites afterwards to celebrate the wedding and hopefully a win. Bring your embarrasing questions for Jamie's parents.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    5-0  (   19 / 4     )   Better L8
    4-1  (   17 / 10   )  No Tan Lines
    3-2  (   14 / 12   )  Armadillos
    3-2  (   11 / 13   )  C Dogs
    2-3  (   10 / 13   )  Empty Pitchers
    2-3  (   12 / 17   )  Arrowlane
    1-4  (   10 / 13   )  Boston's B&G
    0-5  (     4 / 17   )  Dobson HOA

    The Empty Pitchers are creeping back up in the standings!

    Sunday's Scores

    C Dogs 18, Boston's B&G 5
    Arrowlane 19, Armadillos 16
    No Tan Lines 18, EP 5
    Better L8 16, Dobson HOA 3

    Elsewhere
    Warriors 18, Black Sox 14
    Finish Strong 17, Ramrod 7
    Basis Loaded* 12, Preferred Provider 7

    * Amy Dalton's new team on Kiwanis field

    Upcoming Games

    Better L8 @ Boston's Bar & Grill
    Closing time at Boston's Bar & Grill and Better L8 will drink 'em dry for last call.

    Dobson Ranch HOA @ Arrowlane
    There are no Arrow Lanes in Dobson Ranch but plenty of their signs have arrows.

    No Tan Lines @ Armadillos
    No Grill Lines as armadillo meat is skewered.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    I hear not only will Jamie's brother be in attendance, but so will Raoul's.

    My picks this week to win are L8, Lane, Lines and Pitchers

    Last week: 1-3
    Total: 98-62


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    Oct 17th - Connie, Keith and Ron


    Can You Hear Me Now? Ted's band Darkness Dear Boy has the following upcoming shows:
    Wed Oct 13, 8pm:Bogeys in Tempe
    Fri Oct 15, 10pm: The Rogue Bar in Scottsdale


    Riddles of Raoul

    What goes around the world but stays in a corner?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   a stamp     "







    Recap:  What Brings Us Together

    Oct 17th, 2010
    C Dogs 17, Empty Pitchers 7

    CD:    0   0   3   7   2   0   5  =  17
    EP:    3   0   0   1   0   2   1  =  7

    Gone: Ron ( Andy ) and Connie ( Vanessa )

    The team started out hot. Jason's pitching and his back nine held a potent C Dog offense to just seven batters over the first two innings while the Pitchers dropped three runs across in the opening inning.

    After a hit by Jason and a walk to Marlee, Keith hit into a fielder's choice leaving runnes at the corners for the Bride, who cracked an infield shot to notch her first married-life RBI.

    Not to be outdone, the Groom strutted to the plate and sailed a shot over the pitcher to score Keith from second. Lacking a first dance in the wedding weekend's events, the groom danced his way from 1B to 3B after a wild throw by the 3B who had tagged third and tried to double up Jami at firstbase.

    Not to be outdone and to show what can still be accomplished after several years of married life, the Groom's Brother belted a double to centerfield and the Groom came pterodactyling home.

    Aside from Vanessa beating a quality infield throw from 3B to single and Jason smartly drawing the second of the team's three walks, the offense remained quiet until the brothers went to work again. The Groom missed by inches a slicing laser down the 1B line before drawing a walk. While not reaching base herself, Jami once again moved Jamie to 3B, setting up the former Gopher mascot for another RBI opportunity.

    Channeling the focus of Kevin McHale, Mychal Thompson, Bronko Nagurski and Laurence Maroney while balancing the weight of married men everywhere, the Groom's Brother delivered another RBI shot sending the flapping Groom home. From there, the Pitchers did little to keep the game close. The best defense is a great offense to keep the other team off the field and like other nights this season, the team looked sluggish (like a wet sponge) at the plate.

    Jason
    3-3,  2R, BB
    Marlee
    2-3,  R, BB
    Keith
    1-3,  R, RBI
    Courtney
    1-3,  RBI
    Jamie
    3-3,  2R, 2RBI, BB
    Jami
    2-3, 
    Andy
    2-3,  2RBI 
    Ruthie
    1-3,  R 
    Ted
    1-3  
    Vanessa
    1-3  
    Saman
    1-3,  RBI 
    Sarah
    0-3,  Distracted
    Fungos:
    Plate perfection: Groom and Best Man-at-the-Plate (Jason), combining for 4R, 2RBIs and 2 BBs... Aliens cruelly continue to inhabit our baserunners during crucial innings for the third straight game... Secondbasewoman Marlee's favorite Pink Floyd album the last several weeks has been The Wall... Keith was the only OF to grab any flyballs from the air, while Ruthie got no action in RF... Ted played a solid 3B while Jamie covered SS for Ron... What was distracting Sarah? Her parents were in town celebrating their anniversary and wanted a few hours of privacy - at her place!... With the wedding weekend, both Courtney's and Jamie's family filled the stands.

    Scouted:
    Pitcher tosses good, hittable pitches with nothing fancy. Their only dreaded player is the one to dread - as he sent one over the fence in his first at-bat. Jamie and Marlee played shallow grass in following at-bats which led to a pop-up and grounder up middle for a double.








    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    On Deck:  Boston's Bar & Grill
    8pm - Away

    History:
    First meeting ever

    This season:
    Boston's 17, Dobson HOA 3
    Arrowlane 11, Boston's 8
    No Tan Lines 21, Boston's 7
    Armadillos 14, Boston's 13
    C Dogs 18, Boston's 5
    Better L8 21, Boston's 1

    Gone: None

    Sadly, the Pitchers' streak of eight straight winning seasons ended with last week's loss, but that doesn't mean the team can't begin turning itself around starting with this game. A win this Sunday should provide a somewhat favorable first-round matchup in the playoffs and momentum.

    Boston's Bar & Grill got their only victory in week one over Dobson HOA, season eleven's whipping team. Boston's almost took one from the Armadillos. They look to be similar to the Pitchers.

    Perhaps the Pitchers can save some money with a bar sponsorship, such as The Tilted Kilt, but that will require patronage.

    Scouted:
    Scouting, schmouting... just play ball.

    Pregame:
    6:30pm - Team meeting at the Tilted Kilt. Don't worry - we aren't emptying pitchers before the game.

    Postgame
    Sleep pretty darling do not cry... and I will sing a lullaby.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    6-0  (   19 / 3     )  Better L8
    5-1  (   16 / 9     )  No Tan Lines
    4-2  (   12 / 12   )  C Dogs
    3-3  (   14 / 12   )  Armadillos
    3-3  (   14 / 14   )  Arrowlane
    2-4  (     9 / 13   )  Empty Pitchers
    1-5  (     9 / 15   )  Boston's B&G
    0-6  (     4 / 17   )  Dobson HOA

    Sunday's Scores

    Better L8 21, Boston's 1
    C Dogs, EP 7
    Arrowlane 21, Dobson HOA 1
    No Tan Lines 7, Armadillos 2

    Elsewhere
    Black Sox 18, Leftovers 1
    Where's Home 15, FRRR 8
    Cerveseros 15, Warriors 9
    Proctor Doctors 13, Finish Strong 3
    Basis Loaded 26, Tim 1

    Upcoming Games

    C Dogs @ Arrowlane
    Shooting animals with arrows? Take dogs with you to help chase down the poor, wounded forest creature.

    No Tan Lines @ Dobson Ranch HOA
    Betcha didn't know the reason there are no tan lines in Dobson Ranch is because it's one of Arizona's few nudist communities.

    Better L8 @ Armadillos
    For the second straight week, the Armadillos play the late game. Armadillos are mostly noctural animals but you wouldn't have known by last Sunday's performance.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    Sadly, my only incorrect pick was the Pitchers, and that I can only blame on the the Pitchers. Make me right this week!

    C Dogs, Tan Lines, Pitchers and Better L8 should be easy money in Vegas.

    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 101-63


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    None


    More on Baserunning

    Thanks Ted for this contribution:


    Riddles of Raoul

    Give it food and it will live; give it water and it will die. What is it?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   a fire     "


    Wedding Snaps

    Brides of Arizona Highways



    Atop Oak Creek Canyon




    Picture title:
    Hey Bride, Go Make Me A Sandwich...

            Read All Season 11 Recaps






    Recap:  Devil Inside (spooky Halloween edition)

    Oct 24th, 2010
    Empty Pitchers 16, Boston's Bar & Grill 5

    BG:    1   1   3   0   0   0  =  5
    EP:    2   6   1   2   2   3  =  16

    Gone: Jay ( None )

    Written by the ghost of INXS frontman, Michael Hutchence

    Boston's Bar & Grill... has the devil inside. It was revealed they our Season 4 and 5 nemesis, the Arizona Devils. Several of their mashers who took two of three games from the Pitchers remain and the last time these teams squared off, the Devils came away with the 16-5 victory. But this time the Pitchers dominated and won by eleven.

    After a trip to the Tilted Kilt pregame for one round to loosen up the dugout, most of the team's troubles the past few games seemed to disappear. If you weren't feeling that new sensation Sunday night, Ptack suggests partially emptying a beer tube may be what you need.

    Jason was masterful at the mound as he was able to mystify their big bashers, allowing only two runs over five innings. The only inning Boston's B&G was able to get things going was in the 3rd as Ron pitched to the enlarged, gory heart of the order and Jason rode the aluminum.

    Jason
    2-4,  2RBI
    Marlee
    2-4,  2R, RBI
    Ron
    4-4,  HR. 3R, 4RBI
    Courtney
    2-4,  2R, RBI
    Jamie
    4-4,  HR, 3R, 4RBI
    Connie
    4-4,  R
    Jami
    1-4, 
    Ted
    3-4,  3R, RBI
    Ruthie
    4-4,  R, 2RBI
    Keith
    2-4,  R
    Sarah
    2-4,  RBI, BB
    Complimenting their semi-boozy confidence in the field, the Empty Pitchers looked relaxed at the plate. Few runners reached on errors - most were solid smashes over or through the infield. When innings ended, it was often with multiple runners left on base - a sign of the potential for damaging innings.

    Both Jamie and Jason smacked two-run HRs with shots to rightfield via above-average trotting speed and slight miscues in the outfield.

    Fungos:
    Plate perfection: suicide blonde Ruthie leads the charge with Connie, Jamie and Ron in tow for a combined 16-16 with 8R, 10RBIs and 2HRs... Nobody got drunk enough to fall down and kiss the dirt while running... Zero fans in the stands... Jay was a late-hour scratch due to his nagging quad injury...

    Webgems Everywhere:
    How can you not start by mentioning Ron's over-the-shoulder catch in shallow LC field? Marlee's 4-6-3 doubleplay was great despite the uncalled obstruction, which Jamie mediated between innings with the ump... There were also three great throws to home plate, two by Boston and one by Ron in the 1st inning...

    Scouted:
    EP's spy of love noted their 3B can crush it deep - SS and 2B should play him in the grass. Their other big masher loves to pull it down the line. Their female lefty batter aims down the 3B line as well. Defensively they have very strong, accurate arms in the OF who were able to gun down both Jason and Ron at home plate on ideal times to be aggressive on the basepaths.






    Playoff Central:  No Pressure for the Pitchers

    #1   Better L8   ( 7-0 )  
    #8   Boston's B&G   ( 1-6 )  

    #4   Warriors  ( 6-1 )  
    #5   C Dogs  ( 4-3 )  
    ?
    ?

    Championship Game
    ?
    ?

    ?
    ?
    #2   No Tan Lines  ( 6-1 )  
    #7   Empty Pitchers  ( 3-4 ) 

    #3   Arrowlane   ( 4-3 )  
    #6   Armadillos   ( 3-4 ) 



    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    On Deck:  No Tan Lines
    9pm - Away

    History:   1-1
    Season 10:   W  11-4
    Season 11:   L  5-18

    Gone: None

    The road to the tourney plaque torturously takes the Pitchers through Tempe's two top teams. Last time we played, Katie got drunk and forgot to play. This time, we drink together and remember together to head over in time.

    Let's put the playful back in the playoffs and playon until the umps say we've hit too many hits, scored too many runs and all must go home.

    We play this game in honor of all the milkman who were truly injured via dog attacks and all the children who never knew their milkmen fathers.

    Scouted:
    The German flagship Bismarck has been sighted off Norway on her maiden mission. the Swedish seaplane-cruiser Gotland encountered and tracked the German battle group steaming north-west past Göteborg. A Norwegian officer in Stockholm learned of the sighting from a Swedish military intelligence source and informed the British naval attaché, who promptly radioed the Admiralty: "Most immediate. Kattegat today. At 15.00 two large warships escorted by three destroyers, five escort craft, ten or twelve aircraft passed Marstrand course north-west 2058. B-3 repeat B-3". "B-3" indicates uncertainty about the report's validity, since this information was more precise and timelier than anything the naval attaché had obtained in a year at his station.

    Pregame:
    7:35pm - Team strategizing at the Tilted Kilt. Perhaps a tube can shed some insight how to knock the Tan Lines unconscious and leave 'em with a nasty hangover.

    Somersault onto the field, a playoff tradition started by Andrew.

    Postgame
    Drive home and hit a pillow.

    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    7-0  (   20 / 4     )  Better L8
    6-1  (   15 / 9     )  No Tan Lines
    4-3  (   14 / 14   )  Arrowlane
    4-3  (   13 / 12   )  C Dogs
    3-4  (   12 / 13   )  Armadillos
    3-4  (   10 / 13   )  Empty Pitchers
    1-6  (     8 / 15   )  Boston's B&G
    0-7  (     5 / 17   )  Dobson HOA

    Sunday's Scores

    Better L8 gave up 10+ runs for the first time this season while Dobson Ranch HOA scored 10+ runs for the first time this season.

    Arrowlane 17, C Dogs 16
    No Tan Lines 14, Dobson 11
    EP 16, Boston's 5
    Better L8 22, Dillos 11

    Elsewhere
    Warriors 28, Finish Strong 12
    Where's Home 18, Leftovers 8
    Proctor Doctors 12, Black Sox 11
    Basis Loaded 13, Jaguars 9

    Upcoming Games

    Better L8 @ Boston's B&G
    Over/under for inning game is called: 5th inning

    C Dogs @ Warriors
    Available on VHS or Beta:

    Armadillos @ Arrowlane
    Rematch for supremacy atop the alphabetical standings.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    The Pitchers looked great from a top my mountain top villa. Don't change a thing next game.

    I'm feeling Pitchers, Dogs, Dillos and Better L8 Than Never (Tear Us Apart).

    Last week: 3-1
    Total: 104-64


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    None


    Midterm Elections To
    Coincide with EP Voting
    Next Week

    Ptack on Twitter:
  • "I got Jason in the mix for Most Improved. Huge jump pyschologically allowing himself to throw an over-the-fence-homerun pitch for the first-time in his dominance-driven career ."

    Raoul's recent radio rant:
  • "If defense carries weight for MVP, like a shutdown cornerback in the NFL who never sees a ball thrown his way, Ruthie hardly saw any deep flies hit to rightfield."

    Tibetian tea leaves arrange to read:
  • "By marrying the GM, Courtney has likely stolen the Asst GM award from Jami and Jason, who brought Saman and Jay."

    The haunting ghost of Michael Hutchence was heard whispering:
  • "Most improved would be Ted.  What?  Most improved softball performance?  I was voting most improved studio performance."


    Riddles of Raoul

    There's two of these in every room and one in every corner. What am I ?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   the letter O     "





  • Playoff Central:  Frozen Out Of Final Four

    #1   Better L8   ( 7-0 )  
    #8   Boston's B&G   ( 1-6 )  

    #4   Warriors  ( 6-1 )  
    #5   C Dogs  ( 4-3 )  
    Better L8
    C Dogs

    Championship Game
    ?
    ?

    No Tan Lines
    Arrowlane
    #2   No Tan Lines  ( 6-1 )  
    #7   Empty Pitchers  ( 3-4 ) 

    #3   Arrowlane   ( 4-3 )  
    #6   Armadillos   ( 3-4 ) 

    Recap:  No Tamed Liners

    Nov 7th, 2010
    No Tan Lines 13, Empty Pitchers 7

    EP:    2   1   2   1   0   1   0 =  7
    TL:    5   4   2   0   0   3   x  =  13

    Gone: Jay and Ruthie

    The Pitchers jumped out of the gate with two quick runs but No Tan Lines busted out of the gate with a procession of line drives singles into the outfield. Ron and Jamie helplessly watched shot after shot race just out of reach. Jason tossed his best stuff but the Tan Lines, with no threat of the sun at 9pm, felt the groove and strutted nine runs across home after two innings.

    To counter, the Pitchers needed a big offensive night. To help describe what happened, National Lampoon's Vacation will serve as an analogy. If you remember, Clark, despite El Guapos of all types, manages to get his family crosscountry to WallyWorld only to find the park closed?

    Jason
    2-4,  R, RBI, K
    Marlee
    2-4,  R
    Ron
    3-4,  2R, 2BB
    Courtney
    2-4,  R, RBI
    Jamie
    2-3,  R, 3RBI, sac
    Connie
    1-4, 
    Ted
    2-4,  R, RBI
    Jami
    2-4,  BB
    Keith
    1-3,  R, RBI
    Sarah
    0-3,  K
    Three times the Pitchers reached Wallyworld / loaded up the bases only to have the park closed three times: with one out back-to-back strikeouts and a two-out grounder to the pitcher the next inning. Luckily, John Candy let the Griswalds in (at gunpoint) / several of the players grabbed beer beforehand to make everything better.

    With time running short in the final two innings, the Tan Lines got two quick outs on the Pitchers in the 6th before Ron set up Courtney for an RBI. Heeding Ron's advice to end the inning for a fresh set of outs, Jamie hit a grounder to the pitcher, sending EP into the field with four minutes left.

    The Tan Lines opened the bottom of the sixth by hitting the ball as they did in the first inning, but suddenly Jason's pitching befuddled 'em and EP was able to reach the dugout with nary a moment to spare. Sadly, before that spare moment was up, EP hit into three quick outs to shut down the Pitchers until 2011.

    Overall, excellent defense and good hitting yet just not enough to knock off Tempe's second best Sunday night team. We'll see 'em again.

    Fungos:
    No plate perfection. The best hitter was one who visited his mom in the hospital pregame... Ptack and the rest of the organization send out best wishes to Ron's mom... The four pregame drinkers combined to go 7-for-14, with 3Rs, 5 RBIs and one completely wasted .78 BAC strikeout.... three fans in the stands all due to Marlee and Ted... the team needs to improve its winning percentage when Marlee's and Ted's folks are in the stands, which currently is .200...

    Webgems:
    A second late but Ron fired a bullet from the outfield to Sarah at home just after the runner crossed.

    Scouted:
    Fast delivery from their pitcher, most guys hit to LF and strong defensively around the field.








    Season 11:  Clash of the Titans

    Season's Most Not Named Raoul
    Jamie is bestowed the honor in consecutive seasons, which Ted accomplished the two seasons prior. Jamie's name means Supplanter, which means one who wrongfully or illegally seizes and holds the place of another. Raoul means wise and strong. Take your pick, Jamie is insulted by either way.

    Season's Most-Improved:
    Eight of the eleven eligible for this award received at least one vote. The three left out? Surprisingly: Jason, Courtney and Connie. Yes, Jason gave up his first fencer, but Courtney had a streak of eight at-bats-with-a-hit and Connie had to improve on an MVP season!

    It didn't matter. One player ran away with all but two first-place votes for most improved - Ruthie.

    In the field, she forced batters prelaunch to abort attempted landings in rightfield. Despite playing just four games, she tied Connie, Jami, Jason and Ron with two perfect games batting this season. Ruthie joins Courtney as the only players to bat 4-4 in a game twice this season. In those four games she drove in 7 RBIs and scored four times.

    Season's Most Sensitive
    Someone else this season didn't even get a vote. Maybe the definition of sensitive is changing. The winner is Keith. Keith lost all sensitivity in weeks two and three by batting 6-for-8, drawing a walk, scoring twice and knocking in 2 RBIs.

    Season's MVP
    Two players share this title. For the second consecutive season and for only the second time, the previous season's Most Improved Player won MVP. Marlee joins Connie in that distinguished group. Her defense at 2B ranks among the best in EP history and her hitting made Raoul tremble. Jamie gets his first MVP nod, covering SS and 3B and tying Courtney for the team lead with three perfect games at the plate.

    Season's Assistant GM
    When another sub was too inebriated to play leaving us with nine, Christine grabbed her mom to play... after borrowing a pair of shoes from the opposing team. Christine and Arlene soundly cracked the bat combining to go 4-for-5 in an ass-whooping 18-5 loss to No Tan Lines.

    Season's Recap in 64 Words
    Andrew tore his pec in the opener, a 17-3 warmup for Better L8 Than Never. The Armadillos are officially rivals by taking a 2-1 series edge. Numbers story: three losses by ten or more and only three times scoring ten plus. When the team's first losing season was inevitable, the team turned to emptying a space-aged pitcher before playing. Raoul became an uncle.

    Season's Numbers Adding to 64
    21: No. players to suit up for EP in Season 11
    17: Innings EP held opponents scoreless
    7: Strikeouts this season
    5: Doubleplays turned this season
    4: Most runs in single game: Courtney
    4: Most RBIs in single game: Jamie and Ron
    2: Most team HRs in single game
    1: Number of players arrested

    How could we forget?
    Andy, Arlene, Christine, Jay, Katie, Saman, Sherri, Vanessa and Vicky



    Feedback:  The Pterodactyl Listens
    Regular Season Standings
     (Avg Runs For/Against)

    7-0  (   20 / 4     )  Better L8
    6-1  (   15 / 9     )  No Tan Lines
    4-3  (   14 / 14   )  Arrowlane
    4-3  (   13 / 12   )  C Dogs
    3-4  (   12 / 13   )  Armadillos
    3-4  (   10 / 13   )  Empty Pitchers
    1-6  (     8 / 15   )  Boston's B&G
    0-7  (     5 / 17   )  Dobson HOA

    Sunday's Scores

    In the playoff's opening weekend, who would have guessed Arrowlane would score more than Better L8 and No Tan Lines combined?

    Better L8 13, Boston's 6
    C Dogs 12, Warriors 9
    Arrowlane 29, Armadillos 15
    No Tan Lines 13, EP 7

    Elsewhere SE
    Where's Home 11, Black Sox 6
    Dobson HOA 12, Mr. Sockos 11
    Leftovers 9, Proctor Doctors 8
    Finish Strong 17, Cerveros 5

    Upcoming Games

    C Dogs @ Better L8
    The dog catcher never sleeps. Look for C Dogs to be put down.

    Arrowlane @ No Tan Lines
    Back-to-back big offensive outbursts from Arrowlane? Not likely against this stout defense.



    Tibetan Mountain Monk says:
    Three things I've learned this season: Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world located on two continents, the typical lead pencil can draw a line that is thirty five miles long and no piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

    L8 will out-tango the Tan Lines in the finale.

    Last week: 2-2
    Total: 106-66


    EP:  News and Fun

    Known Travel

    Raoul and Ptack head together to Tibet.


    Offseason

    Hopefully everyone feels the urge to keep fresh by hitting the cages occassionally. Like normal, we will hold one practice and one scrimmage in early January before the season starts towards the end of January/beginning of February.

    It's still encouraged that teammates share volunteer ideas for the team. Either post a comment on the page or email Jamie the specifics.

    The GM assumes everyone is returning so let him know quickly so he can adequately work the free agent market if needed.

    We will look into uniforms, potentially getting a sponsor to pay for the uniforms in exchange for logo placement. Business suggestions are encouraged in the comment section - just remember we should all try to use this business.

    Best guess is EP will return to the SE field with Boston's Bar & Grill, the Armadillos and Dobson HOA, while reuniting with some old foes.


    Riddles of Raoul

    What five letter English word does not change its pronunciation when four letters are taken away?
    Highlight space between quotes for answer: "   Queue     "






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